soozs

rock

2012-01-29T08:55:00.002+11:00

I've said before that I don't consider myself an artistic type. I'm a maker for sure, but that finely honed aesthetic sense is missing in me. I start with what works and what's beautiful comes second every time. Second, or not at all.

I have huge admiration for those who can imagine up beauty and go about making it. Who surround themselves with things that reflect that inner landscape of harmonising visuals. I know when I am in their spaces that it resonates within me - it is real for sure - but I am just not that kind of creator.

But during this last holiday as I spent a bit of time indulging my inner rock nerd at the beach I thought a lot about how much my sense of beauty tracks in natural environments. The attraction I feel to some of these pebbles comes close to how I feel about really incredible and inspired works of art. Well beyond words, holding these things, looking at their colours and forms, feeling their surfaces fills me with emotion.

I absolutely love them.

I blogged about my first sample collecting journey here, and my lack of understanding why I did it, and about the deep emotions investing in these wee bottles.

I added to my collection in Bali, some black sand (which I find, quite frankly nothing short of magical),
some lovely volcanic beach pebbles
and this odd spine found floating in the ocean. The locals we asked assured us it was from a pig, but that seems a complete fantasy to me. Sure a sea creature of some kind?

In this latest trip there were some bigger pebbles in Mallacoota - the absolutely most perfect one I picked up when we first arrived has gone missing. But I love the stripes and colours of these ones too.

And then at Cape Conran these stunningly tiny pebbles - the black ones are like velvet they are so smooth and matt and the white ones just fill me with light joy.

It's not just rocks. The green canopy over the top of the tea trees on the dunes is magnetic to my gaze, and the waves of green around the distant river shores expands my chest in a way I find quite inexplicable. But my photographs just can't capture them, and I can't bring them home, or touch them or stroke their textured surfaces.

By comparison so much of my home like is visually jarring and ugly, the textures are wrong and jumbled. I don't know that there is anything I can do about that, in a grand solution kind of sense, but I'm feeling very attuned to the colours and textures of the wilds still and looking for ways I can do more than just play with rocks.

wilds

2012-01-28T21:35:00.003+11:00

Home.

After 10 days in the wilds.

The first family holiday where I have felt the crushing burden of small children is waning - even the lad spent his days off riding his bike alone, chatting to strangers, learning the art of the skid stop and discovering an abiding love of bugs. The girl went off alone to town on her bike, bringing back supplies and an enormous sense of achievement in her independence.

Beautiful places.

Lovely times.

Really lovely kids helpless with laughter, playing hilariously, walking through new landscapes with open eyes and full of the wonder of the world times.

A great start to a new year.

cooker

2012-01-07T16:49:00.005+11:00

Since Amy was quite small we've been referring to a mythical golden age when she* will be old enough to cook dinner for the family on a regular basis. D and I have looked forward to that time because we won't have to shoulder all the cooking work, but also (and way more importantly) because I want Amy to be a part of the labour team that runs the household and gain confidence in herself to be able to run her own household some day.

By the time I left home I knew how to cook. I knew how to shop, budget and plan meals. I had a stable of things I knew how to cook by heart but also a collection of recipe books and the skill and desire to use them. I was by no means an excellent cook or a fancy cook but I could feed myself and my housemates wholesome and tasty meals for a reasonable price.

I did not see cooking as an optional extra or a form of performance art. It was something I had been doing, in various forms at various levels since I was wee. In fact I was such a mummy's girl that one of my most favourite childhood places to be was on the kitchen bench helping mum to cook. And cook we did - from the daily loaf on up, my full time working mother made everything from scratch from a single weekly shop.

As I got older I positively enjoyed baking (it was getting to eat the results that did it), but I also had responsibilities to contribute to the family meals. I helped mum to shop and I picked our own home grown produce and I learned about produce and how to pick the best stuff, I top and tailed beans, stirred gravy on the stove and tossed salads. I also got home from school to notes about putting on the roast at a certain time or getting the vegetables ready.

I was shocked to realise how many of my peers at school never cooked at all. A lot of my friends with stay at home or part time working mums came home from school to home baked afternoon tea delights and rarely if ever were put to work in the kitchen. When I was younger I was deeply envious but as I got older I was filled with gratitude. Understanding how to cook and feed a family in the routine and mundane way is something I am exceptionally pleased to not have to learn as an adult.

So, back to Amy. This is what I want her to have. To appreciate the work of proper old school cooking, to develop her understanding and skills and one day to leave home ready to provide for herself. While she's always been involved in baking and helping out the move to taking the lead was a whole new ballgame. I've bought her a few cookbooks - I started with ones aimed at kids but I find them pretty limited, with an emphasis on sweets, baking and processed ingredients, so more recently I've kept an eye out for the easy, quick, weeknight meal type books.

We started a year or so ago with the occasional mothers day or fathers day meals but at Christmas time Amy announced she wanted a regular weekly slot. We decided on a weekend night so there would be time to shop and prepare without rush. Last week she made risotto primavera and it was sensational, this week spanakopita.

I find it really hard to teach and nurture her without getting too caught up in doing everything efficiently and well - it will be my ongoing challenge to hand over the reigns whilst still being supportive. I need to teach her more knife skills, and build her confidence with heat and somehow get her muscles going for handling big pots and pans - she's petite for her age and no match for the adult scale of kit. I also need to reinforce the lessons and tips she learns as she goes.

It was while mulling over some of these challenges that I came up with the idea of her blog posting her cooking. In writing down the recipes and steps she can relive the process and better cement it in her mind. She'll have a record to come back to if she wants to cook the same dish twice and I also thought she might gain a readership with some of my blog readers kids - maybe other households will take up the weekly kid cook challenge. I'm letting Amy post in her own words, as she wants, and if I feel the need to add anything I'll do it as a postscript at the end.

----------------------------------------------------------
Hi I am Amy and I cook dinner weekly and I am 9 years old. Here's something I made on the 7/1/12.
And here's the recipe for it:

Spanakopita

Ingredients:
3 eggs
1 box of filo pastry
125gms melted butter
500gms cheese - feta and/or haloumi and/or ricotta
2 packets of frozen spinach
2 large onions
3 cloves of garlic
Oil

Method:
1. Dice both of the onions and finely cut garlic
2. Put garlic & onions in a pan over medium heat and cook without browning with a drizzle of oil

3. Meanwhile crack all the eggs into large bowl [watch out for some shell]
4. Crumble cheese lightly over bowl with the eggs

5. Drain spinach and leave over sink
6. Check on onion, if the onion is ready put it with cheese and eggs if not do this step later
7. Add spinach to the other ingredients and mix and mix

8. After you have finished mixing get a square tin, filo pastry and the melted butter
9. Spread butter around the tin up the side and the bottom work quickly so that pastry won’t dry out

10. Put a piece of pastry in the tin and spread butter all over fast, do it about 10 to 15 times then add the filling

11. Then do the same as you did for the bottom by folding in the sheets that are hanging over the sides of the dish and brushing each one with butter

12. Put it in the oven at about 175 and clean up then wait till it is crispy

serve with yoghurt or tomato and cucumber salad
hope you enjoyed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by Amy

[Suzie's PS - we actually split our mix in two and made 2 smaller pies - one without spinach for the boy who won't eat green. We used a mixture of haloumi and feta cheese because we like the flavours - ricotta gives a milder taste if that's what you like. I also usually put a bunch of chopped spring onions and a handful of flat leaf parsley in - but we were cooking from what we had so we skipped these things. You can beef the meal up by serving with some steamed baby potatoes or rice and lentil pilaf, we had it with green beans from the garden with a bit of vinegar, pomegranate molasses and some chopped cherry tomatoes. This quantity made plenty for the 4 of us with enough left overs for lunch tomorrow - could have fed 6 adults. Next time Amy makes this I will encourage her to switch a few ingredients so she can explore changing recipes once she has the method down pat.]

Edited to add - as one commenter highlighted, this post gives the impression that all these expectations are placed on Amy and not Wil. And I just wanted to say this is absolutely not the case! When Wil is a little older he will be doing the same as she is now - but at 4 I don't think he's ready for kitchen resnsibility. He loves to help me bake and already shows a natural tendency for order and precision that bodes well for his cooking future, and he loves anything that involves following 'structions. And I fully intend to see him off in the world with all the capabilities in the home sphere that the girl child has and besides would I pass up the opportunity for 2 nights a week off cooking?!

restless

2012-01-05T10:48:00.003+11:00

I am seeking grace in this period of restless inaction.

My health care professional has braced me for the likelihood that my cough and cycles of exhaustion and infection will probably continue for at least six weeks longer, so I am trying to simply view the next little while as a time of gentle non commitment.

I feel OK enough of the time to keep normal life going - sort of - but crap enough to be uninspired and grumpy as hell, and to have lost all faith in making plans and doing stuff.

Cue the perfect time to chug away on a few miles of the crochet blanket of doom.

I am surprised how much I am enjoying the mindless repetition and the feeling of progress. A long way from finishing to be sure, but now that I have passed the a quarter of the way there milestone it is beginning to look distinctly blanket like.

And while I am hooking I am gathering courage for a mighty destash. Just as soon as my lungs are fit for a bit of dust exposure I am going to be ruthless in getting rid of loads of books, some fabrics and yarn. Really clearing stuff out. I won't have enough stock or interest in running a market stall and while I can fairly easily destash yarn on ravelry and books on ebay I am not at all sure about how to offload fabric in an efficient way. Anyone got some good ideas? Is this blog a reasonable place to conduct a garage sale?

adieu

2011-12-31T15:14:00.003+11:00

I confess to a morose feeling and a struggle to find some uplifting words on the last day of the year. The persistent chesty cold and asthma I've been trying to shake since late November is winning at the moment and I feel for all the world like I'm on death's door. I am sure things will improve at some stage, I'm just not sure when.

In the meantime, I will look back on the making highlights of 2011 - as always a mixed bag of successes and disappointments. Interestingly as I was putting these mosaics together I realised I have failed to photograph some of the things I've made this year - some of them my favourites. Odd.

Sewing

Knitting

Machine knitting

#2 and #3

2011-12-19T11:44:00.003+11:00

I forgot to take photos - but really how many brown globs can you look at for inspiration?

A Christmas BBQ for the collected neighbours supplied me with an opportunity for another round of mousse trials and a wider test audience.

OK, so #2 was the molecular gastronomy version of chocolate mousse whipped into public consciousness by Heston, but actually captured first by Herve This. It's just chocolate and water, with the water being whisked into the chocolate to form an emulsion as the melted chocolate cools.

It was super easy to make, and for a hard core chocolate lover it has a purity to be admired. On the downside it was heavy. Maybe I didn't whisk hard enough - though the recipe does recommend you want out for over whisking rather than under whisking so who knows. Also, if you aren't a dark chocolate lover, this version might be a bit bitey. My kids found it unpalatable and to be honest, it was too much for me. I'm not clear whether the strict instruction for at least 70% cocoa solids in the chocolate is a form of taste snobbery or an actual chemical requirement - this may have more universal appeal if made with a milk chocolate?

#3 was based on Elizabeth David's perennial whole egg no cream classic recipe, except that at the last moment I added a little whipped cream to try and rescue the overly heavy result. I fully acknowledge user error here but making this version was a total nightmare.

I melted my chocolate and duly beat in my egg yolks in a thin stream but swiftly and the chocolate hardened to a solid mass instantly. I duly added my third of my egg whites to break up the mass as I believe I should have, but they were not nearly enough to break the mass up - it was still a solid lump. I added more whites but the idea I could 'fold' these in was ludicrous, and by the time I had anything like a pliable consistency, the air was fairly fully deflated from the whites. The resulting mousse was very unmousse-like and still very bittersweet, and since I am still hoping to find something both children and adults will eat I whipped a little cream and folded this in.

The resulting mouse was still too heavy and still too bittersweet - the 5 children who sampled it gave it mixed reviews - 2 couldn't get past the first mouthful or two. One of them was my son, who would happily eat dog shit if dipped in chocolate, so that's saying something. About half the adult samplers added plain cream to their mousse to try and lighten it. Again I wonder whether some milk chocolate mixed in with the dark, or more sugar or more cream would have helped. I'd also like to know if there's a better way to get from solid mass to mousse.

The adults also joined in with my musings over how low end restaurant mousse is made - several of us remarking how it tastes the same no matter where you have it (single supplier for the whole of Melbourne?) and nothing like anything anyone ever made at home. And while I don't wish to reveal myself to be any more of a bogun than many of you may think of me already - I'm not entirely adverse to the chocolate mousse we occasionally get as a freebie with our pizza delivery from the local pizzeria. It certainly feels blasphemous to say it, but so far the three trials I've run have all failed to inspire me at all to bother making it over buying what is no doubt some kind of hideous caricature of real food.

And this is so very unlike me! I am not a fan of packaged food over home made - of flavours or textures far removed from the source. [Except lolly bananas, but who could blame me there?] Members of my own foodie family have been known to have a go at me for being too heavily into 'quality'.

So what happens now? I am all out of inspiration and right now am feeling not at all kindly disposed to chocolate mousse AT ALL. Is this just my own version of Christmas overload? Performance anxiety? Reaction to so much gluttony? Am I lousy cook, do I have the wrong recipe, will this end well?

So please, please do tell me. I want an authentic French mousse. One that isn't hard to make, one that doesn't pucker my lips with bitterness, one my kids will like, one that isn't so heavy and rich that it can reasonably be eaten at then end of a full meal. Tell me what I'm doing wrong, give me the answer or the recipe, or the number of the guy that makes the stuff that all the pizza shops buy. Because time is running out!

frock

2011-12-11T07:52:00.006+11:00

It's the festive season - for me not just Christmas and new year, but also a run of significant family birthdays.

Last night we had a lovely no-children-to-be-seen meal out to celebrate my mum's 78th birthday - amazing food at The Commoner in Fitzroy in an upstairs private dining room. I won't harp about the hopeless service because the food really was stunning, though seriously, if you are going to be a drinks waiter learn to pour a beer for goodness sake!

Anyway, a lovely dinner in adult company is a great excuse to get to and make a lovely frock. I am not a huge dress wearer, though I am trying to wear them more since I do think they look nice when I see other people wear them. I haven't even wore the bubble pocket linen dress I made last month but I am hoping the weather will make it perfect for one or more of the Christmas functions I have coming up.

As soon as my current edition of Ottobre had arrived I'd earmarked both the bubble pocket dress pattern and this one, called Glendora (? it must be a Finnish thing...). Like the bubble pocket dress Glendora didn't go up to my size and required other alterations - the original pattern had a straight skirt under the bodice and cuffs on the sleeves.

The fabric is from (gasp) spotlight, and I love both the print with its combination of black and blue and the fabric weight and structure. It is quite heavy, has a slight sheen and a small amount of elastine making it firm to wear, but very comfortable and it barely creases! I used a very similar fabric from Clegs to make a shirt years ago and it has held up amazingly well. I have to say when I found it at spotlight I stash 3 other prints in the same fabric. I don't like that the predominant background colour is white - I don't like wearing white at all! - but it seems to be the case with every single version of this fabric I have seen and I like the feel so much I'm just sucking it up over the white.

There are no closures at all because the elastine content creates enough give for the shimmy over the head and bust to be easy. It's not just that I don't like doing zips, introducing as they do a whole new set of possibilities for messing things up, but I really think zips change the way the fabric hangs and can ruin the line of the dress even if well installed. It also has my favourite bust dart shape - sloping down into the side seam.

So all up it was an easy dress to make and I did it in a day including tracing and modifying the pattern, whilst caring for kids and doing jobs in between. I sewed the last button on about 10 minutes before I needed to jump in the shower to get ready - oodles of time! I think after it has done party duty this season it may do well as a work dress too thanks to the business like neckline.

I'm really getting into the sewing groove now, which should serve me in good stead as I set to on the Christmas sewing list...

#1

2011-12-09T16:32:00.005+11:00

It's all about The Mousse Trials over here.

My family has really upped the ante for Christmas this year with an entirely French menu. I'm on baguette and mousse duty and quite frankly I'm shitting myself.

I put the call out on twitter since I'm a total ignoramus in relation to French Cuisine, and mousse in particular. Aside from the eating bit (baguette and mousse that is) and reading Julie and Julia, really all I know is they use a lot of butter, cream, cheese and odd parts of animals.

Of course when it comes to mousse there are controversies and deep divisions. There's egg, no egg, white only or yolk only. Cream or no cream. garnish or no, liqueur or no. What kind of chocolate to use and last but by no means least (oh no, definitely not least) there's Heston's molecular gastronomy version which uses just chocolate and water.

How can I decide between these all, and allay my fears that I will find myself on Christmas morning whipping whites that won't form hard peaks, curdling cream, making mouse that won't set? Why try them of course!

Trial 1 is a definite outsider, a rebel, an audacious and contentious holder of the name - the Toblerone chocolate mouse. It has egg white and cream and is heavily garnished with whipped cream and crumbled flake.

About as inauthentic French as they come. And mine is absolutely beyond the pale, since in my desperation to make passage through the supermarket in record time I failed to notice I didn't even buy proper toblerone. Instead I have some abomination called a honeycomb crisp - the bastard child of a toblerone and a violet crumble.

So it's not really fair, but it was never going to be.

In my heart of hearts I know I won't be making this for a fancy French meal. It was never going to wash. Maybe that's why I made it first. And why I skipped the garnish. And only made half quantity. It's just warm up.

My verdict?

Well it tastes bloody great in the way that many chocolate flavoured calories must - a lighter, creamier, dissolvey version of the toblerone itself. Toblerone without all the chewing work! The bits of honeycomb and nougat are a little perturbing (they are not mousse like at all) and the sweet milk chocolate doesn't bring that rich dark decadence to mind but it's most definitely chocolate and most definitely mousse and it was both fast and easy to make.

The kids adored it but I don't think it will stand the heat of the trials myself.

I figure it's all up from here!

rescue

2011-12-08T11:55:00.003+11:00

I can be quite petulant when I sew. If something doesn't work easily, first time, I can be tempted to simply bin it or leave it in sewing purgatory more or less indefinitely. I can be tempted, and I can give in to temptation.

But occasionally I can talk a project down off the ledge and do my very best to rescue it.

I made this T-shirt with gorgeous hand printed jersey by Bird Textiles, but when I was trying it on an observant friend spotted the unfortunate impression created by the bridge arches near the hem - undies on the outside anyone?

Fast forward nine months or so before I could face dealing with it. Of course in the end it wasn't so hard - after my initial plan of buying some plain jersey to match failed (so many different white jerseys out there let me tell you) I simply lopped the bottom off and added a band from elsewhere in the print. Very glad the pattern repeat size forced me to buy excess fabric!

I also rescued these chairs. I recovered them some time ago from their original green vinyl (it's somewhere on my blog but buggered if I can find it). And really, my choice of fabric was just plain wrong. I loved the way it looked and it hid the dirt pretty well, but the weave was too open and the seams started to give out way too quickly.

It's not a big job really to recover the seats, and the results so justified the efforts - just wish I'd done it earlier!!

Clean up and Christmas. A match made in heaven.

organise

2011-12-06T13:59:00.003+11:00

As the provocation to my current cleaning spell, I thought I would share my pattern storage system. It's the star organisational system of the work room.

I used to store my hand traced and original design paper patterns in A4 folders, in plastic sleeves with sheets of paper between. On the paper I wrote the important pattern information and used dividers to organise them.

But the system began to annoy me because the folded papers, being irregular in size and shape made the folders lumpy. The bulged in the middle and sometimes some of the pages sagged. Not so tidy. It also annoyed me that when I packed for craft camp I'd have to take either the whole folders, or the slippery plastic sheets separately, which easily got crumpled and squished.

I also didn't know what to do with the few enveloped commercial patterns - they were too fat to keep in the folders but I didn't like having 2 different storage systems. I know, I'm funny like that.

So over a weekend a while back I transferred all my patterns into A5 sized envelopes. I chose these because they are easy to find and inexpensive to buy, sturdy, big enough to take even a very large pattern. They are also almost exactly the same size as commercial pattern envelopes and they fit perfectly upright in a shoe box.

Here's an example of what I write on front of the envelope - the pattern type (dress, top, pants etc) in the top left so I can quickly flick through the patterns by type, the pattern name and source (name of book or magazine, edition number and date if relevant), the size, a quick outline of the finished garment, a note about what I made from the pattern (date, fabric, occasion), and critically, any modifications I made to the pattern, either when tracing or when making up.

I tend to be a repeat pattern maker - if I find a good pattern I like I will often make it more than once, so the notes are very helpful. When I make the same thing in different fabrics this is especially so. The fit of a pair of pants for example can change a lot between fabrics, and noting what I learn helps me work out what mods I might need next time.

This system is very quick to maintain - it only takes a minute to write the info on the envelope (I always keep a good store of them at hand) and file it away for next time.

shelves

2011-12-03T21:18:00.003+11:00

Stage 1 complete!

The photo is awful because my proper camera only has a 50mm lens and there is no where I can stand in this room and capture this bookshelf in its entirety.

Anyway, it's still solidly packed, but it has been culled, it has been tidied, it is in order. There's always more that CAN be done, but I'm OK with this as it is now.

I have in fact made substantial incidental progress in other zones too, but I've decided that I'm going to move systematically round the different parts of the room, and do my best not to get overwhelmed by the totality. I can only claim victory in sequential order.

The machine knitting zone is pretty much done - though I do need to test some equipment and put stuff up in the roof, it is at least now tidy and useable. I have in fact been machine knitting swatches to finish off the lightweight summer cardi I started at craft camp - but so far just haven't gotten the fabric I want, so no show and tell just yet.

Zone 3 - the fabric stash shelves - are in pretty good order too. There hasn't been much culling there (it just feels wrong to get rid of good fabric), but certainly some better organising and the dispelling of the crap that builds up on the shelves around the plastic tubs. It's not perfect yet but getting there.

The rest of it is still a nightmare.

But despite the work room crap explosion and my ongoing viral/asthma illness (10 days people. I'm suicidal) I managed two distinct crafting episodes today - both heavily christmas themed. I may be losing my mind seeing as how I don't even like christmas.

But the mantle piece now sports two stockings - red with white cuffs made from felted wool jumpers and personalised with wee letter beads to head off the bloodbath that may ensue at a later date. Forgive the crapper than crap photo. So crap. The photo in fact just caps off the whole trailer trash christmas craft look of it. Oh I feel sick.

Then I was struck dumb by a cute image on pintrest and immediately grabbed the button collection, some beading silk and in ten minutes made some christmas themed jewellery. Clearly. Gone. Mad.

Also in the back catalogue of the great unblogged is this hoodie I made for Wil.
I'll begin by saying Wil won't wear knitted stuff. And no, it is not an itchy wool thing. I think he has some belief that the 'needles' stay in the garment after you finish knitting them or some such freaky notion.
Anyway, while it stabs me in the heart (the gorgeous malabrigo hoodie I knit him has NEVER been worn. Sob.), I know for him there's no higher pinnacle than polar fleece.
So even though it feels like plastic bags or worse, I made him a polar fleece hoodie. The shape is actually lovely - I was very pleased with this pattern and will make it again for sure.
Another from Ottobre of course. And my young man looks great in it.
Well, actually he just looks great, the jacket is incidental really.

danish

2011-12-02T21:02:00.002+11:00

A product of too much time cruising Ravelry.

A pattern unavailable in English.

A pattern only sold in sizes infant-6 or adult.

A pattern you can't buy except in kit form, with yarn, in Denmark.

An online friendship is born across the seas, aided and abetted by ravelry.

Help procuring, help translating, a shared knitting journey.

One very very happy girl. Thank you so much E!

workroom

2011-11-30T13:25:00.007+11:00

There's been some talk over on twitter about organising the craft workspace - in particular about storing traced patterns. The conversation is timely for me, I've been feeling greatly oppressed by the workroom. And while I feel happy I have my pattern storage problem licked, the rest of the space is a right off.

Too much stuff and not well organised.

I forget about some great materials I have for projects I was really excited about, I can't find the things I want to use and basically the room is too full to be used to get stuff done.

I have a problem with both quantum and scope - I am kitted out for a lot of different crafts, and I have a deep stash for both knitting and sewing.

But to prompt me to get my shit sorted, I'm outing myself.

I stood in the centre of the room and took a series of (crappy phone) photos of the room as is.

The computer and paperwork zone. Also the holding bin for stuff destined for elsewhere (work, post office, kid's room, mending basket, filing cabinet, rubbish bin), and for things that have no obvious home when tidying up the kitchen table. Kindly called inspiration. Needs a good tidy and a better inbox outbox system. Not using a round non A4 shaped basket would be a good start.

The paper craft and sewing patterns zone. There's quite a bit of dormant stuff lurking here and since paper craft really isn't my forte (despite my deep and abiding love of stationary) I could probably cull here and gift stuff to Amy. There's also a drawer full of technology based junk - cables and plugs and instruction and old CDs - that could be culled too. The patterns are pretty perfect, though can you tell I am headed for maximum density? Not sure what will give when I can't squeeze one more Ottobre in. And all that shit across the top needs to be filed or go.

The cutting table. Yeah, laughable. The under table storage is coned yarn in tubs, buckets of interfacing, zips, elastic and so on and tubs of specialist fabric - vintage furnishing fabric, hand embroidered linens and doilies and unclassifiable scraps (hmmm...). In front are boxes of machine knit weight balled yarns. The shelf under the table has 'craft' fabrics (fat quarters, cute prints, plains etc), yarn winding tools, leather and bag tools and findings, bulk odd buttons. The table top has projects in process, yarn which needs to be put away, scraps I can't bear to part with and a whole stack of random detrius. Just deal with it!

The sewing table. The machines are still packed up from camp. The tool box works reasonably well, holding scissors, pens, rulers and the like, but the cabinet shelves and holders are a random assortment of bits and pieces with no obvious order. Could do with a cull and organise. Want something for storing overlocker threads too.

The very big fabric stash shelves. Aside from tidying up the random yarn cones, pieces of fabric and stuff shoved in nooks and cranies when I am being lazy, the only real job here is to cull some fabric. This is a hard job - there isn't fabric here that's 'bad', though I am sure there's stuff I will, realistically, never sew. Problem is I never know which bits I will or won't be sewing. Between crazy and unexpected kid requests (hey mum, what I really want is a giant purple velour cape!), costume parties and school fetes even the most out there stuff can be gold. Likewise the felting batts, quilt batting, needle felting rovings and old curtains are most certainly just biding their time. So realistically, a minor trim is all that's likely here and mostly it just needs a good tidy and more efficient packing. And no more fabric purchasing.

The knitting machine space. The recent proliferation of machines (future spare parts is all people - this stuff is getting rarer!) means I need to clean, test and sort all the incoming, separate out a complete set of tools and add ons and put all the rest into storage in the roof. I also need some storage systems for weights, tools, extra carriages, manuals, punch cards, swatches, waste yarn cones...all the machine knitting paraphernalia I haven't quite absorbed into business as usual. Also, inconveniently, I can't actually knit with the table pushed back against the wall as it is too cramped end to end. May need to contemplate a sideways move.
The library and other craft storage. The upper part of these shelves take the general craft books, embroidery, quilting and toy making. There's also a whole shelf of knitting and crochet books and patterns. There's a big bucket up top with knitting needles and notions and then buckets with ribbons, bindings, toy making supplies, embroidery stuff, beading and wiring supplies and tools and curtain hanging bits. Next to the shelf is a big felt bucket in which stands rolls of interfacing, paper, cardboard, fabric, leather, curtain rods and tracks and goodness knows what else. Gosh - where to start here?! I think I could cull and re work some of this space, reducing the supplies for crafts I rarely do and devoting more fo this space to machine knitting supplies. I could probably sort through the books and ditch a few too. Pattern filing is most definitely required.

So there we go. Wake up call. Filth pit. Get to.

winners!

2011-11-29T09:45:00.004+11:00

Amy was super chaffed with all your compliments - great affirmation for a budding writer and maker.

Yesterday she helped me by writing all your names on slips of paper, shuffling them in her school hat and pulling out two winners.

A big congratulations for MadCraftyMama and Veronicaoscar, who will be picking up a copy of felting and beading respectively. If you ladies can send me an email [soozsdotcomatgmaildotcom] with your street address I will pass your details on to the lovely folk at Hardie Grant.

Happy making!

crafternoon

2011-11-15T06:59:00.003+11:00

I find it hard to try and promote books I have projects in - it seems pretty immodest. But I also really like to see craft books succeed so I wanted to let people know about the newest crafternoons in the series - beading and felting. I was collecting my thoughts on these lovely project books when it struck me that really, these books aren't for me.

Luckily I have someone right here for whom these books are perfect - my nine year old daughter Amy. She loves making stuff, and as much as I love making stuff with her I was really excited about getting her a book that meant she could pretty much do something on her own. Nothing like a bit of independence to discover your creativity and as a crafty mum that can be a hard to be a good crating companion to your own kids. I'm ashamed to say I can be in turns impatient and demanding and I am sure, quite unhelpful, despite really wanting to be encouraging.

So I asked Amy to choose a project from one of the two crafternoon books, make the project and then write about. I did not tell her she had to be positive or promote the book - I left it totally up to her, except to say she should tell someone who didn't have the book what it was like.

She chose the beading book and here's what she had to say:

I decided to make a beachy wind chime. I didn’t have all the things on the shopping list so that made it a bit different.

I used mums beads the problem was mum did not have a big range of big beads. Or any glass and china only pebbles. Luckily the pebbles had holes, which made it a lot easier.

I used the wire cutters to cut a piece of wire about 70 cm long and threaded a big bead on then small and I did that again and again and again.

Then you tie [or in my case thread] a piece of china, glass, pebbles etc..

And you keep on doing it again ad again and again after you have done that about 4 times you stop.

And you get another piece of wire and do it again, after you have done that between 2 and 8 times you tie all of them onto 2 sticks, and there you have it.

It takes about 1 to 2 hours but its fun, and that is what counts.

I think I could improve [put them closer together].

Mum helped with the knots and putting it together.

I think this book is EXCELLENT!!! And really easy to understand.

There are so many different things it is really hard to choose which one to make.

I would recommend this book for 8-20 years.

And give it 8.5/10.

And since I know Amy to be quite discerning in her artistic endeavours, I take her praise seriously. She certainly persisted where she might otherwise have lost interest, had a clear sense of her overall design where she might have otherwise launched into something without really thinking things through, and was really happy with the end result. She asked for minimal help from me and was dead impressed with herself for it (as was I ;-).

To celebrate the release of these lovely, perfect for summer holiday lazy days books, Hardie Grant are supplying me with a copy of each book to give away to an Australian resident! How awesome is that?!

If you would like to win a copy, please leave a comment with a valid email address and let me know whether beading or felting grabs you the most. I'll be drawing a winner on MONDAY 28th November - good luck!

And you can follow the blog tour of the crafternoons as they visit the following people.

Larissa holland 16-Nov
Pascale Mestdagh 17-Nov
Christine Chitnis 18-Nov
Holly Keller 19-Nov
Monica Solorio-Snow 20-Nov
Cate Holst 21-Nov
Shannon Cook 22-Nov
Jennifer Casa 23-Nov
Kate 24-Nov
Tricia Hogbin 25-Nov
Steph Morgan 26-Nov
Maddie Ezzy 27-Nov
Jackie Boucher 28-Nov

**Edited to add - Thanks to those who have left comments to go in the draw so far but can I reiterate that this giveaway is for Australian residents only, and if you don't leave an email address with your comment, I can't contact you! I can't contact froginthepond, jennifer p, jakdeeandkids, cath or maureen and I either can't tell if you are Australian or know you aren't Australian nickuk, froginthepond, jenniferp, Cath, jakdeeandthekids, maureen, heather and terri. Unless I hear from you, I'll have to take you out of the running :-(

pretty

2011-11-07T12:11:00.002+11:00

Nothing to say - so unlike me I know. As more than one person has said of me in the past she could talk the leg off a chair. They used to say it about my grandma too.

Anyway, in the absence of insight, wit and reason I'll chuck you a bone in the shape of some knitting.

A very sweet little cardigan knit in just 6 days using less than a skein of the lovely wool, bamboo and silk Ultimo yarn from the sadly defunct Yarn Workshop, dyed by me. There's a matching hat too - knit with just 20gms of yarn and not yet photographed. They'll both be heading over the sea just as soon as I hear that my wee niece has made her entrance. A lovely project and an exciting occassion!

2011-10-20T08:28:00.003+11:00

Day 7
So the days are now well and truly blending into each other. Serious maths was called for to work out what day it is I write this. I've stopped bothering to put on regular clothes between swims. I may cease certain personal hygiene routines.

Early mornings waking up and watching the boats come in, a swim in the ocean, the set breakfast (tea, fruit salad, boiled egg and toast), a short read, a pool swim, a long read, a quick dip, lunch (noodles or club sandwiches), sleep, read, swim, walk up the road, beer o'clock, swim, dinner (sate, gado gado, fried rice, grilled fish...), frog spotting, bed. Really there isn't much else to do here.

I finished the Thirteenth Tale and have started on Blood - back to Aussie contemporary fiction.

I'm aware after my last post, aware as I was writing it but chrystalised by comments after posting, that it's really hard to accurately, truthfully, write a balanced account.

I do want to be truthful in saying that travel with kids is much much harder than travel without, and that at times it feels a lot like it's too hard. With D and I in particular, who have spent a lot of time in Asia over a 25 year period, there are many many things we take for granted in being in a place so different from home. We are accustomed to the crazy roads, the complex social relations of status and class, the unfamiliar bits of familiar foods, the adapting to what comes our way.

Even kids who are good at this stuff (and some are definitely better than others by dint of personality or varied experiences at home) can't keep up with grown ups for whom these challenges are if not easy then at least predictable and most certainly a product of their own choices.

I love travel, and from my first solo backpacker foray to India as a stupidly naive baby not yet 21 I've happily taken on the challenges that travel presents for the incredible insights I have felt I have gained through those experiences. All cliches aside, I don't think I've ever felt the kind of contentment, understanding or peace I have felt when pushed to the limits beyond my comfort zone in a strange land.

But when you factor kids into the equation, everything is different. I need more resources to manage my own thoughts, decisions and anxieties than I would at home (no auto pilot here) and this inevitably leaves less for the usual demands of parenting, let alone the surge in demand brought about by their confusions, anxieties and confronting thoughts. And the millions of unfamiliar potential physical and emotional threats they are oblivious to that require your constant vigilance.

And then on top of all that (as though it weren't enough!) the exponentially larger number of key decisions to be made (from where to sleep, eat or play to how to manage a small's meltdown in the customs queue or 3am onset of illness) puts a huge burden on the negotiation and compromise capacities of both parents - at exactly the time they are feeling an especially great need to minimize the number of variables and pressures on their plate. Working as a team is never harder.

So goodness doesn't that all sound like a fantastic incentive to spend enormous sums of money and use up your annual leave to bring the smalls abroad?

Well this is the balance thing. It's so easy to write about the pain. It's hilarious reading and a great dinner party story to share the time you fell down a drain, left your passport in a taxi or picked up amebic dysentery. And the kid lifting your top and shouting boobies! in the middle of a silent temple ritual or hurling all over the check in desk of a nice hotel outclasses anything a grown up can do in terms of narrative richness.

And equally how hard is to write about, to experience, the more compelling, profound and awkward moments in life? All the good stuff's already been written, by better writers than me, and if you haven't experienced it words can't tell you and if you have they pale into insignificance next to what you know to be true.

Why is it that I have willingly, delightedly subjected myself to the hardships and disappointments of travel again and again? Because they have taught me, nurtured me, made me more resilient and confident, more able and more knowing, and filled me with joy. I want to keep being that person who discovers through challenge that I can and I am, I want my kids to see me be that person and I want my kids to become those people too.

And it's not just about the experience of being challenged and enduring and solving problems, though this is enormous, and about puzzling over the awkwardness that meetings across cultures bring, the mismatched expectations and misunderstandings.

There is something more specific to travel in the developing world, to being confronted not just with one's own monumental privilege in the world and to the immense gulf between ourselves and those who sit apart from us through poverty, difference, suffering or lack of choice. Increasingly this also entails the sting of recognition that our very privilege is the cause of much of this. The aspiration to have our wealth (and by wealth I'm not just talking about money but also the things brought about through sustained social wealth and surplus - healthcare, education, infrastructure, mobility and so on) and the willingness to achieve it through exploited labour, unregulated manufacture, pollution, waste, the rampant tourism, corruption and so much more. Travel here makes it very hard to suppress the knowledge that our patterns of consumption directly bring about a level of destruction that is unsustainable.

And I want my kids to know that. I want every person who buys the newest shit at Zara to come here and walk through these communities and see why it costs 10 times as much to make a garment in Austrialia as it does to ship it in from Argentina, Indonesia or India. It costs so much less because we don't care that they chuck their production waste into the local river, or that kids don't go to school or that life is shorter and harder for almost everyone who lives here. Most of us don't give a shit because it's so easy to not confront what that means for other real life people.

So when we walk up the road after our afternoon naps we point to the houses in the village and ask Amy if she would like to live here. Can she imagine waiting here for the bus to go to school, about that being a sign of her great good fortune? How would it be to be that guy over there who has gone out fishing all morning and comes home with only 4 small mackerel in his catch and that what he earns from that is all the family has to eat and pay bills and buy everything else they need?

Of course she can't know. Just like she can't predict the crazy traffic here or when money needs changing or what dishes off the menu might make her sick or will taste like crap. She can't know that yet. But in time she can if she has these experiences. In time she might understand, and she might help others to understand. She might see that everything she does, the choices she makes, the things she buys, the way she lives her life affects others. Everything has consequence. And in knowing this she might become wise, I might become wiser.

Somewhere in there is my hope for humanity.

A little more balanced now?

away

2011-10-17T23:57:00.001+11:00

Bali
Day 1
Surprisingly smooth getaway and flight. Child annoyance factor pretty high till I manage to swap seats with D and get an aisle between me and the rest of the family. Of course cheap airline tickets means no food on little trays so we order from very small selection of fancy junk food and celebrity chef lunch treats. Luke Mangan's gourmet new York sandwich at $9 is actually mostly alright. Bugger me.

Also spot an acquaintance from high school on flight, a bloke I remember with great fondness, who now surfs everyday and works for rip curl. Wow. Jealous much and very bouyed that someone gets to live the dream. Hope he's still the nice bloke i remember him being.

Arrive to that familiar cocktail of humidity, pollution and untreated sewage overlaid with the scent of frangipani. We also walk past the departure lounge cafe with mock Western style burgers and chips on display. There's no mistaking this tourist Asia biz.

Pass the visa and immigration points, visit a commonwealth bank ATM in the luggage collection hall (feels so weird and not right and yet so convenient at the same time).

Use our first filthy wet urine stinking squat toilet of the trip. No mistaking an undercurrent of genuine undeveloped Asia.

Douglas, our driver, fights chaotic jammed up traffic (including a road largely blocked by an abandoned van which has both rear wheels missing) to get us to the hotel while Wil, overcoming his initial distress at the lack of seat belts manages to bounce around the back seat and damn near throw himself out the window.

We arrive at the Suri, a delightfully wee complex of just 4 bungalows thoroughly overcome with dense tropical gardens, stone paths, lotus and lilly filled fish ponds, thatched roofs and high enclosing stone walls. Perfectly Bali.

Our room is all timber and whitewash, exposed thatch on the ceiling and sliding glass doors to the outside bathroom, eating area and personal lotus pond. Nice. The kids immediately strip for a swim in the pool and explode the entire contents of their back packs all over the room for that lived in feel.

It's at about this time that we discover exactly why they do that thing in Australia where you have to take you credit card out of the ATM before it dispenses your cash. Ironically I did the exact same thing in Bali in 2000, though luckily realised about 20 paces after leaving it behind and ran back to find it still sticking out of the machine. This time it was D's turn to get distracted, grab the cash and run. Cue some internet research and phone calls to cancel the card and some rapid financial plan b development.

Determined not to get rattled and doing our best to straddle 2 time zones and a growing tiredness (i think saying yes to that offer of a taster glass of french champagne in duty free at 9am may not have been wise) we head out for a quick early dinner to cafe Bali - a typically touristy international mash up of Dutch croquets, Indonesian sate, mee goreng and Mexican quesadillas all made somehow better than they really are by tremendous attention to service and decore.

A walk home via the mini mart for ice creams, beer, water and morning juice and time to tackle the trauma of who will sleep where. The children refuse to share the king single so amy opts for the mattress off the day bed on the floor despite the absence of a mosquito net (cue midnight blood sucking feast and requests to join mum and dad under their tent). Everyone except D is in bed and asleep by 8pm local time (11 back home).

After the aforementioned midnight musical beds, Wil wakes and needs to be taken to the toilet, helped to find his drink, his sleepy toy monkey yadda yadda, can't sleep, is scared, wants to sleep in my already over subscribed bed...all of which results in me sharing the single with him for a toenail scratching night of frustrated sleep.

While I lie in bed listening to the music pumping out from some nearby bar and the honking of taxis and motorbikes as well as an extraordinary number of low flying aircraft and wishing for nothing so much as unconsciousness I am very much debating over the ratio of joy to pain entailed in a tropical holiday with the kids.

Day 2
Thankfully this day entails no travel, no commitments and no visits from the bad parenting police. In fact I thoroughly prove my good parent credentials by diving into the pool fully clothed when the kids get into trouble after straying too deep. Both the kids are scared witless by the experience and I surpass myself by not having a total meltdown. I do, however wish I had been wearing something a little lighter weight than the cotton t that will take about 6 days to dry in this humidity. We are all very aware this is a very small price to pay.

We walk down to the beach where swimming is forbidden for the day due the wildest currents and waves I've possibly ever seen. Instead we sit at a fancy beachfront hotel and have iced tea, pretending we are guests so the kids can swim in their pool. The view is spectacular.

We limp home, have some lunch at the bali bakery (again with the bastardised international cuisine - a 'japanese' sandwich with chicken terriyaki, mayo, lettuce and tomato on brown bread and side of skinny fries) and then everyone except Amy crashes for a lengthy afternoon sleep.

God, the restorative power of sleep! If I have one important lesson to learn in this life it is get a shitload more sleep.

I go to duck out to the shops while the kids get back in the pool only I have to wait a bit since the air con for the restaurant next door (the very funkily decked out Junction) has just kind of exploded and caught fire, blocked the gateway out of our compound. The staff in their uniforms of black t shirts with the restaurant logo on them all stand around outside waiting to be told what will happen. The flames are put out promptly with fire extinguishers and hoses (?!) but the smell of burning electrical works hangs nastily in the air.

I am more than a little disappointed this also means we can't have dinner there as planned and when we head out at dinner time the sign on the door says closed for maintenance. Instead we eat at Kuni's for Japanese - a wonderfully fitted out and serviced Japanese place (affiliated with the Melbourne Kuni's perhaps?). Amy being the only one who didn't nap is showing the wear and tear and even voluntarily passes on an ice cream.

Both kids into the single bed and Amy is asleep almost before her head hits the pillow. D and I read and write while listening to nice music from the iPad. Things feel much more manageable.

Day 3
After consuming the villa supplied set breakfasts - muesli set for me, croissant set for amy, egg and bacon set for the boys - we go about the business of deciding what comes next. With our prebooked accommodation now done until next week we are commencing the party of the trip that is critical to D's sense of pleasurable travel - the unplanned adventure.

While in the past I have been in agreeance over the joys of this bit (the unexpected pleasures and treasures to be found, the bargain rates to be bartered and so on), I feel somewhat less convinced about it now that travel involves four of us and the kids have no patience, no sense of adventure and no capacity to appreciate the process of finding new digs, involving as it does a lot of waiting and weighing of options, doubling back and taking risks.

But this holiday isn't just mine, and I do understand not just the joys that can come from the spontaneous travel, but also the importance of each of us getting something out of the trip that is exactly as we'd like it. All good in theory.

But today it's the business end of this and involves getting a car and driver, negotiating stops and finding accommodation at the end of a long drive. Wil talks incessantly, whines in bursts, finally has a sleep and then wakes to inconsolable wailing, all while our accommodating driver (pork chop, yeah you read that right) drives back and forth on a very narrow and really shitty hilly road on the edge of the sea.

Luckily this place is well off the beaten track (ie it's one of the few place in Bali you can go where being an Aussie is an oddity, where there is no amplified music, mini marts, ATMs or imported beer. Old school paradise) so completely blocking the road to U turn is no big deal.

After what feels like an eternity to me, but is in fact a fairly quick and painless half hour, we are installed in a picture postcard bungalow in stunning garden surrounds looking directly out to sea. The beauty and relative simplicity of the place compared to the classic tourist strips of kuta and legian, and my joy at recapturing our experiences here in this very cove in 2000, is almost enough to gloss over what is an apparent level of environmental degradation in the area that is nothing short of shocking.

What has happened in Bali over the last decade gets me thinking about my travel experiences, and what's happening in the world, particularly Asia, over the last 25 years, and how sad I feel all over again when I think about the double edged swords of tourism and development and my own part in that.

And how my kids will never see the things I have seen before they are dead and gone for good.

Such sobering thoughts in a hot climate can only be dispelled by black sand beaches (so cool!), swimming, beer, local food made well, a good book (the thirteenth tale - marvellous thanks Tania) and the sound of children laughing. The beer also helps you ignore the night time sounds of rodents in the roof should you be so unlucky as to witness those.

Day 4
Rinse and repeat.

kapow

2011-10-13T04:49:00.001+11:00

I've been trying to work out what makes people feel so strongly about The Slap and this last week, it's adaptation for TV. It's been a while since I have heard so many people talk to much and so negatively about something I feel quite OK about. Lots of people feel like me, some really love both the book and the TV series or just the book or just the TV series. Either way, there's lots of talk and lots of strong feeling.

Plenty of others have summarised the story so I won't bother doing so here - and besides, all that's interesting about it can't be conveyed that way.

I've been thinking about it a lot, and trying to really boil down to some essential primordial ooze. I'm sniffing around the fact that for quite a few people the TV version seems 'better' than the book.

To me a lot of the punch of the book came from the relentlessness of being inside people's heads. The first person narratives, stripped as they are of social censure and niceties, full as they are of the rage and frustrations of the impositions on our personal freedoms give a somewhat misanthropic view of the world.

This seems to lead a lot of people to find the characters hateful and distanced, utterly unlikeable and easily criticised. They invite judgement.

And yet, at the very same time, the book seems to me to be about what it is like to live in that world of being judged. So much of what the characters feel, and the way their behaviours manifest are the dance of judging others with righteousness, whilst rejecting or suffering the judgements of others.

In the TV show, with the inner voices largely lost, what we see are the less nuanced, more guarded actions of people who seem to oscillate between their selfish impulses and their resentful restraint. The strain of tolerating each other, the world, shows clearly.

I think, I suspect, that much of what people don't like about this whole view, is the assertion that it is such a strain. Are people really that self absorbed? Really that angry? Really that shallow? Is it really so hard for people - people from different times, generations, cultural backgrounds and political persuasions - to just get along? to be accepting and respectful of each other?

There's this scene early in the first episode where the boy - the slapee - is first shown in all his undisciplined annoyingness. He's sitting on the floor banging a wooden spoon on the bin and wall, making a racket his parents appear to be oblivious to but which clearly annoy the hell out of the man of the house. He leans over and takes the spoon from the boy, exchanges an eye roll with his wife but says nothing to the parents and leaves the room. The father of the boy then picks up a spoon and starts tapping it annoyingly on a plate. After just a few taps he quietens the noise, slows and then puts the spoon down.

The super annoying kid - the kid with no discipline and no accountability, the kid with no impulse control, the kid with no requirements to accommodate the needs of others is in simple terms a total pain in everyone's arse. The difference between the kid and his father (and most of the other characters) is not what they want to do, it's the degree to which they manage to control their desires to do it.

All the characters fail, in one way or another, to control themselves, and they all, in one way or another, resent and react against those people they perceive as the ones responsible for their need to be self controlled. In laws, old friends, parents, spouses, children. Everyone is a drain it seems. And everyone is quick to point out eaxactly what they don't like about everyone else.

There's a level of horror to the idea that the best life can be is a monumental effort to almost contain our messy, annoying, near poisonous inner selves, knowing all along that our efforts will never succeed and those we love most will see our failings and judge us for them.

But is that all The Slap has to offer?

Why do I like it if that's what its telling me?

I think because despite all that these people still go on. They don't kill one another, they don't abandon one another. In the face of the horror they persist in trying to make it work. Cheek by jowl with our selfish impulses and base desires are our drives to reach out and connect, to try and control ourselves in order to be both tolerable and tolerant. Those inner voices in the book are greatly concerned with the dilemma they find themselves in - no matter how misguided their efforts at escape may be.

Perhaps I am cynical and pessimistic. Perhaps others are in denial over our true natures. Perhaps I just run with the wrong crown. There's only a squint and a sideways look between them afterall.

Or perhaps I am simply looking for something good to take from it in order to not be another judge. In the Compass interview with author Christos Tsiolkas (thanks for the link Adelaide!) he makes a point about the characters' sense of entitlement, and about contemporary Australia being full of complainers and judges. Perhaps my impulse to like it merely comes from not wanting to be that person. For this five minutes anyway.

anticipation

2011-09-26T09:30:00.003+10:00

The warm tastes of spring we've been having (in between frigid cold bursts) has me looking forwards for the first time in ages. I haven't been too much of a perpetual winter whiner this year but as the sun has come out I've realised just how tightly I have been rolled up.

Watching multiple blossoms going off like crazy and wee little apricots, plums, nectarines and apples spring to life amidst our still overburdened citrus trees has my mouth watering, as do the millions of tiny parsley seedlings springing up all over the garden beds and the seeds (hopefully) sprouting on the window sill. So good to be outdoors with so much going on.

I've been holding my breath, waiting for the winter and spring cold/ear infection/asthma/hayfever/tonsilitis round to hit - but here we are on September 26 and it hasn't come. We've only had a few very mild colds this year and I feel like we may at last be making it out of infancy and into normal life.

We've also just been through parent teacher interview for Wil, designed to settle the question of the advisability of school next year. I am straining not to head down ranty alley just now because the subject of school readiness and 'holding kids back' just kills me, and its death by a thousand cuts but really, no need for that here, eh? Suffice to say it was with great joy that I ticked the 'no' box on the will you be requiring care in 2012 form at childcare. I still have to get through the local kinder discussions (cut cut cut) but I am filled with steely resolve.

What it will mean to us as family to have both kids at school is making me gag with excitement. The down side of the four and a half year age gap between the smalls has meant that for all but the shortest period their time in institutions away from family has been separate. As a parent read: total pain in the arse for dual drop offs and pick ups, conflicting timelines and schedules, diverse fundraising and working bee guilt, yadda yadda. As a kid read: aside from home, we live our separate lives. They have not yet had the experience of meeting in the playground, of being protective, proud, embarrassed, amused by each other in a public kid ruled domain.

I can't wait to see the deepening of their relationship that will come from this - even the cranky I disown you bits. Right now so very much of their time together is mediated by D and I as parents: even though we choose not to interfere whenever we can, we remain a negotiating reference point. But at school they will be slugging it out alone, relying on their sense of what's right to deal with each other.

And deep down I absolutely trust them both in these dealings. Despite being kids, with all their kidish ways, inability to articulate and selfishness, they are basically good and want good things for each other as well as themselves. Won't it be wonderful for them to realise this about each other and themselves?

On the theme of anticipation, an increasingly large part of my forward vision is getting crowded with tropical palms, hot sticky nights, ceiling fans, swimming pools and rice paddies. I did some alterations on the bathers I made at craft camp [note to self: lycra is always bigger wet than dry so make things smaller!], bought some lime green sandals on super special, bought Amy new sandals, dusted off Wil's sandals from last year that I thankfully bought too big, and am pulling the summer clothes out of hibernation for a thorough inspection.

I also made a new dress

I bought the fabric a month or so ago from Tessuti - a wonderful linen/elastine, with a crisp papery feel in a wonderful shade of tomato red. I had no plan in mind when I bought it but when I spied a pinafore dress in the latest Ottobre with gathered pocket detail I locked it in. Love the pockets truly madly deeply.

I had to alter the pattern quite a bit (it was afterall designed as a sleeveless winter garment to be worn over layers) - for a start they didn't make it in my size so I had to scale the pattern up 2 sizes. Next I added a lot of length (the original was well above the knee), drafted sleeves to keep sunburn at bay and added a band for the neck to replace the pattern facings. Because of the elastine I was also able to skip the zip in the centre of the back which was less work, but also gives a softer more comfortable line as befits a dress made for a tropical holiday.

I'm not sure what else I might be needing to get done before we go - the inventory of last year's clothes will alert me to any last minute sewing needs. It's proving a little hard, despite the excitement, to get my head around packing enough hot weather clothes to last two weeks whilst sitting beside the fire and knitting for all I'm worth.

I'm also doing a bit of contemplating of having some bespoke leathergoods made whilst away - particularly a leather version of my standard handbag. Wondering if I should (a) make and take a pattern and (b) make and take the lining in order to preserve my patented nerd pocket placement system™. Wondering if I should get something else made too or instead or not at all. Wondering how much I will (a) hate going shopping for this as it will entail a trip to the most horrible loud touristy part of the island and (b) be disappointed if I feel like I could have made it better myself and beat myself up for letting capitolism suck me in AGAIN. It would, however, turn out to be a really wonderful experience to find someone who loves their work, essentially a craftsperson managing to work and live as they choose, who could collaborate on something with me, based on my needs and their skill. Maybe? Dreaming?

What I am not anticipating with anything like good humour is six hours on a plane. With kids. I hate flying at the best of times but keeping Wil in a seat for six hours is unimaginable.

neaten

2011-09-16T17:36:00.001+10:00

I've been dashing along on the new jumper.

I dyed the yarn, the last of my aran weight posmerino from the Knittery (RIP Knittery, we miss you!) with the help of Jules (thanks Jules!). Actually, I dyed it twice since the first round of grey/black/blue/green just wasn't even enough to give a quiet transition between skeins. I now rather like it, reminding me as it does of an inky sea with flashes of blue and green from the depths.

It's based on a Diance Soucy pattern (author of the oft made hoodie - here, here, here and here) for a cowl neck jumper, though of course I'm messing with it. In fact really, I'm mostly using it for the cast on stitches which is shockingly lazy since I could well have done some maths and saved the cost of the pattern. But her patterns are so wonderful - I don't begrudge supporting someone who makes solid, reliable, well fitting patterns, even if I feel the need to mess with them.

So, I added a bit of extra shaping in front as well as the side shaping in the pattern and overall added less ease. The yarn pooled badly twice - firstly just before I started the shaping and then again as I finished it - leading me to the very overdue realisation that when I knit my hip measurement it is an almost perfect match for a factor of the skein size and pooling is INEVITABLE. So there was a lot of breaking and rejoining of yarn to try and minimise the splotchy thing.

Next I decided that instead of a rib band at the hem I'd do a band of herringbone and repeat it for the cowl neck. I'm very happy with all that except the cast off looked awful.

Because herringbone is done using very big needles and every stitch gets knitted twice I couldn't use a regular cast off or I would have had a row of big floppy stitches. But casting off in herringbone left me with a very uneven and loose cast off and after a few hours of staring at it and cursing I decided to try a round of (US) single crochet through the cast off stitches to see if I couldn't neaten it up.

I'm much happier now, though only wear will tell if the crochet is enough to stop it rolling out when I wear it.

I'm crossing my fingers that there will be enough yarn for good long sleeves as well as a giant roll neck. I'm a wee bit nervous.

And then of course, since the jumper is now too enormous for discrete commuter knitting I had to cast on the left over Elsa wool cormo from the Harvest Moon Cardi to start a long overdue Wool Peddler's shawl. A delight to knit, so squishy and warm and woolly.

It's making me all the more excited about the success of the Ton of Wool project - soon I'll be knitting aussie cormo! So so exciting!

garlic

2011-09-14T02:51:00.001+10:00

This dish is so simple I hesitate to even call it a dish. It's embarrassingly simple, more an idea than a recipe really. But gosh, it tastes really good. It's a meat only dish - served as part of a mixed array in a shared meal.

Everyone likes this dish - it isn't spicy and although it has a strong flavour it is not sharp or bitter or especially garlicky or in any way challenging. My kids adore it almost as much as me.

I first had this when my Thai friend Aor cooked it at my house and on her next visit to Australia, some 4 years later asked if I would like her to cook it again. Clearly I had made my feelings about her cooking known.

When she went back to Thailand I was keen to reproduce it so I asked her for the 'recipe' and this is what she sent:

Subject: garlic chicken
fried garlic first then put chicken in, then put oyster oil, soy bean sauce, Maggi dipping sauce (if you have), pepper, sugar a bit. That's it perfect. Yummy...Let's do it.

I love this - its so quintessentially Thai. It's not about the quantities, there's even flexibility about the ingredients you have. It's all about the yummy taste and the just doing it! With exclamation marks because it's perfect! And fun! Arroy mark mark!

So with only slightly more precision, here's how I make it.

Garlic Chicken

Peanut oil, 1 tablespoon

Finely chopped garlic - lots. As much as you can be bothered chopping. I probably ideally use 7 or 8 cloves but you could use less or more as you felt inclined.

300-500 gms sliced chicken breast (thigh is also good but the sauce component is quite juicy so the drier breast does well.)

Oyster sauce, maybe 2 or 3 tablespoons

Soy sauce, about 2 tablespoons

White pepper, a few shakes

Sugar - maybe a teaspoon

Heat the oil in a small wok or fry pan and toss in garlic. Don't turn the heat up so high that the garlic burns, and keep stirring.

After a minute or two add the chicken. Keep it moving in the pan, you might want to turn the heat up a little here.

When the meat is just cooked through add the sauces and salt and pepper, adjusting for taste. You may alter the ratios quite a lot to get the flavour you like best - that's OK!

Serve with rice and veggies or salad.

learn

2011-09-13T10:47:00.002+10:00

Seven newish machine knitters, a gun for hire, a Sunday lost in the art of learning.
A new garment, some new techniques, a lot of tips and tricks won from experience.
Two strands of alpaca 3/21 and one of superfine merino 2/28, worn upside and downside.
Many thanks to Bri for leading us in the journey (natural born teacher!) and Teegs and Lara for loaning the studio space.

oi!

2011-09-07T14:19:00.003+10:00

I said it already I know but people, PEOPLE!

I'm trying hard not to swear here - but for goodness sake!

Please, please, PLEASE GO PLEDGE SOME SUPPORT!

I've put a little widget there in my sidebar ===>
just so I can watch the numbers during this, the eleventh hour.

Given all the people out there
the knitters
the supporters of local manufacture
the spinners
the greenies
the country folk
the environmentalists
the anti capitalists
the aussie centrics
the lovers of rare breeds
the lovers of super soft wool
the community minded
the joiner inners
the yarn and tops hoarders

Surely, SURELY there's enough of us to raise $33,000? I mean it's not like they want your money just for the feel goods - you get yarn or tops for pete's sake. It's entirely guilt free purchasing so what the hell is stopping you?

RIGHT NOW I SAY.

GO BUY SOME YARN.

harvest

2011-08-30T14:52:00.000+10:00

Jo, Niki, Lisa, Alison, Jen, Kim, Ellen, Anna.

Brilliant sunshine, a carpet of early morning frost.

Twice cooked tamarind pork ribs, lemon curd cake.

Quiet and laughter.

And lots and lots of making.

Magic.

Rash vest for Wil (old swimwear fabric scraps from stash)

Rash vest and swim shorts for Amy (Sea Folly and Tessuti respectively)

A rash vest and swim shorts for me (Sea Folly)

Skirt for Amy (Tessuti)

Pirate T-shirt for Wil (Ink and Spindle)

Trams and Bikes T-shirt for me with pleat sleeve detail (Ink and Spindle)

Knitting project bag (Maya Muse tea towel outer, Ink and Spindle inner)

Hot wire vest made from left over scraps from the hot wire cardi I made a while back - did I ever photograph and blog that? Maybe not...so here it is

Love hot wire, and the new very similar aspen (both from Tessuti) - wool nylon that's stretchy, lightweight, doesn't crease and warm.

Wool jersey top and wrap made from the left over scraps. Not 100% happy with this one. I was trying to reproduce one of my favourite tops (under the cardi in this pic), but this jersey is thinner and stretchier and well, lightening never strikes twice. Good enough, but not great.

Some very wide leg pants with a pocket lining made from the hungry hungry caterpillar range. I had planned for these to be summer 7/8 length but then figured I'd leave them long. Looking at them now I'm thinking I may have been right the first time. Will rethink after they have had a wear and wash. Love love love the extra wide cross hatch denim from Tessuti.

A lovely loose weave linen from the Tessuti remnant sale. Just waiting for summer.

And the treasure of them all - the New York Cape from Tessuti in a napped wool coating fabric, also from Tessuti, that has a lovely sheen and is almost fur like to the touch. This was a joy to make and I love the finished garment - can't wait to wear it! Love the wool bound edges and the button details. Love. I added pockets to mine - just simple shapes also bound in wool before being sewn on - and lengthened the cape overall by about 8cm which gives a much better line on me.

I also decided to use flat felled seams in the hood and shoulders too instead of the bound seam allowances the pattern uses as I felt it would diminish bulk at the seam in my heavy coating. I was really happy with how this turned out, despite it being a little bit fiddly to do.

I did a full bust adjustment to accommodate my more ample bosom. This also gave me a smidge more room to move. I tried on a sample of the cape made directly to the pattern size and while it fit me, it wasn't as loose as I felt it should be. I slashed open the front piece through the centre of the dart and straight to the bottom hem and then opened the pattern out by about 1.5cm. I also dropped the dart finish point by 2cm for a smoother taper. I didn't open out the back, but since my bottom is also ample, I pivoted the back pattern piece out from the fold at the hem line by about 1.5 cm - this meant the neck line wasn't altered but the bottom hems matched. Very happy with how it all turned out - I'd definitely make this again.

I didn't take my camera with me but I couldn't resist snapping this with my phone at the farmer's market - how awesome is this chook cage?!

Oh and speaking of awe - poached pears 6.5st style. The red wine glaze was so dark and shiny at first I though they were coated in chocolate, but a slice reveals a wonderful line of colour bleeding in. They were delish too.

We very much missed Santos, our regular and amazingly talented masseuse who has buggered off to live over the seas so I am on the hunt for a new pair of magic hands in the Lancefield area, or prepared to come to us mobile like. Tips welcomed!

Now I am off to the great unpacking And some hard core catch up sleeping.

disappointment

2011-08-23T15:13:00.001+10:00

A striking, simple, clever pattern, nice to knit and lovely to wear.

Wonderfully soft yarn, nice to knit and lovely to wear. Stunning colours, great contrast.

Completely underwhelmed by the way the dye has faded and run on first careful hand wash. The orange has washed out to a much gentler shade, but worse still the charcoal edging now sports patches of muddy brown stain that look very much like scorch marks or spilt tea. Much more noticeable in real life.

Now that I look through Ravelry comments on this yarn (Madeline Tosh Pashmina) there is some mention of the run issue from other knitters, but no comment from the company and no warning on the labels. No response from the company to my email letting them know I was disappointed.

And I'm especially disappointed because I have really loved all the yarns of theirs I have knit with, I've not had any problems before and would happily have held them dear as my Most Favourite Yarn Company. But if you can sell a high end luxury product and know it has some dye bleed issues and not either fix it or warn consumers AND fail to respond to a polite and sad email, well, then, shame.

nine

2011-08-14T17:05:00.000+10:00

Could there be a more perfect photo to capture my girl?

So alive! So full of the wonder and joy us old folks only dimly remember. A cake on it's second outing, some candles left over from a past birthday and it might as well have been a masterpiece in gold.

She loves everything, except the boring bits at school, eating meat and emptying the dishwasher. She especially loves being herself, dressing in a way that isn't about blending in but about putting herself out there. She loves hatching an idea and acting on it, no matter how ill conceived or brilliant. She is determined and can't be deterred by wise advice, or even threats, and good on her. She'll argue her case like the best barrister, and sulk like the best drama queen.

She isn't great with routines or the development of good habits, she totally just takes it how she feels it should be taken at the time. Like, whatever. She isn't like me at all in this, and at times her inability to settle into a groove drives me nuts, especially when she's trying to find her (undone) homework or get piano practice done. But I also know if I chuck her somewhere she's never been before with a brand new situation to deal with she'll get herself together quick smart and find something just great in it.

As she gets older the balance between trying to teacher her, parent her, and simply observing her develop into her own person is changing. It gets no less challenging, it just changes every day. She makes me think long and hard about myself, and her, and who I am as a parent and how I can help her be who she is in the best possible way. All the time and in all different ways.

It makes me proud how often people tell me what a great kid she is, how she is polite and helpful, how wonderful she is with little kids and adults alike. I know she isn't always like this at home and I can often be found balling her out about the dirty socks in her bed, clothes shoved down the back of the wardrobe on the sly, lost library books and whining about doing jobs. But no one's on the top of their game all the time and better she be well behaved when she needs to be. And knows the difference.

I'm also extremely proud that she values the things we make for ourselves so highly, and so much more so than the things we buy. For a kid who loves to shop so much more than I am comfortable with it fills me with gladness how often she says with pride look what I made, or yeah, my mum made that, isn't she clever? She gets me and I think I'm pretty lucky that she bothers to take the time to try and figure me out.

I was sick this year on the special day and it was hard not to feel like I let her down, despite how beyond my control it was and how completely understanding she was about it. Still. We rainchecked a fancy dinner out and there's plenty of days to enjoy each other's company. I couldn't wish for a better companion on the ride.

think

2011-08-08T23:05:00.000+10:00

You could be forgiven for thinking there's been nothing going on up top over here for a while, what with all the pretty pictures and posts about fabric and yarn.

But like all creativity and meditations, there's a whole lot more brewing underneath.

I've been contemplating big things, big messy complicated things. What it's right to expect out of life things. When settling for almost good enough is not OK kind of things.

I am surrounded by the evidence of my great good fortunes and at first I was thinking perhaps I was just having a first world gluttonous indigestion over not being able to cram more in kind of thing.

Poor me.

I kept thinking this because every time I've tried to put into words the thoughts I have found swirling around I feel whiny and disappointed, when I really have so little to be unhappy about.

Suck it up for goodness sake.

But there's also been a run of situations and people bumping into my life recently expressing a kind of sad surprise that I don't do more with what I have. Well, not so much more as something better. I'm no longer young enough to claim to still be an apprentice anything and with Wil looking to start school next year the but I have young kids line is also wearing thin.

Where is my big idea? What's the adventure I seek?

Maybe it's the same old resentments coming around but I'm asking myself all over again why I feel so much like a bit player in the story of some other protagonist? The answer isn't at all obvious - I'm not sure my perception of simply being a passenger is either accurate or lasting. I mean a lot of the time I feel extremely lucky to have so many pies into which I can dig my fingers and just as quickly turn my back on.

But I also know that at times this feeling comes, and when it comes harder and more persistently it's time to think in bigger terms than the week's meals, knitting and bed time stories. It's time to push past all the I can'ts, it's too hards, the but if I don't do it who wills.

I am losing my inclination to simply do the things it's easiest for everyone else that I do. I feel that should I continue to do that, over time I shall wish I hadn't and I won't look too kindly on those who let me.

Which is all well and good of course, an excellent starting point in fact. But what then? What is it that needs changing exactly?

Is it where I work? Or how I parent?

Is it the job I do or the balance I daily make between paid work and creative work?

Do I need more stimulation or relaxation?

Should I take a course that interests me or retrain entirely with a vocation in mind?

Am I supposed to fight harder for what I want or be more patient and trusting that it will come to me?

Not new questions, not even new answers. But for the first time in a while I am beginning to have little daydreamy thoughts of actually acting on some of them. I am seeing myself as a PhD student, as working for something other than the government, as harnessing my experiences as well as getting more.

I'm not right there yet and my ideas do not hold up past the day dream. But they are definitely gathering strength and I'm definitely looking under every rock for The Next Big Thing.

sew

2011-08-07T20:11:00.001+10:00

It's not all about the pointy sticks afterall, there's some actual sewing going on too.

Albeit this one is sewing for knitting tools. Uber dag, and in machine knitting circles, that's something. Made from scraps purloined from the Crumpler shop.

This one only just escaped the scrap heap - a saga of poorly chosen pattern, pressing on despite the clearest instinct that things were not going right, buying additional fabric to allow set in sleeves to become raglans and all manner of other stupidness. Should be good now but. Awesome printed fulled wool knit from Tessuti. Of Course.

And arrrrr a wee bit of pirate kit.

And an impromptu dish inspired by the unlikely appearance of green mangoes at the local supermarket. Green mango salad accompanies two of my favourite Thai dishes that I've never seen outside of Thailand, fried cotton fish and smashed catfish salad. I tossed this one with palm sugar, fish sauce, lime and chilli, spring onions and peanuts and then set it on tuna and brown rice. Bloody delicious.

knit

2011-07-29T16:47:00.004+10:00

The needles, the yarn, the machine. They fill my mind night and day and pretty much everything else in life feels like a distraction from the main game. I have a jacket that's 60% sewn but I don't fancy it's chances of getting finished in the current environment. Even making chocolate chip cookies was a major intrusion. Not so the eating of course, but still, it's serious.

I've finished my first machine knit garment using the knit radar - a handy little gadget that turns a visual picture into a row by row stitch counter - and I am pretty impressed. $15 worth of discount Bendigo yarn in 5 ply, about 3 hours of knitting and a very useable result thank you very much. There will be more for sure.

I also set to a bit earlier than last year on the annual fathers day sock knitting job. I used patonyle 8 ply - a really lovely thick boot sock results and I am sure the mister will be very pleased. He's an explorer sock wearer as a general rule so these should be a winner. The stripes were to recover from the terminal shortage of yarn - these ones will be taking pretty much 150gm, not the 100gm max I am used to in a 4ply.

The socks are progressing so nicely I started swatching on the side for a new jumper for me - a plan I've been mulling over for weeks now. I want a big warm jumper with long sleeves and a chunky snuggly neck, so I dyed up the last of my 10ply possum merino stash in readiness. I love the black/grey/green/blue but I feel very nervous about the amount of variation between skeins, so I am thinking I will have another patch overdyeing session before I commence in earnest. Sigh.

I'm also fantasising much about knitting up this luscious orange and grey combo. It's mad tosh pashmina, a yarn and quantity suitable for a shawl type arrangement. I'm very drawn to this (have in fact already bought and printed the pattern), but have a growing sideline interest in this, this and this. That's stiff competition, right? I think I can be forgiven for vacillating.

I've got a few baby arriving deadlines too, a blanket here, a cardigan there, and a class next week on learning how to knit tubes on the machine.

I. just. can. not. stop.

worthy

2011-07-24T11:28:00.002+10:00

I have been following the genesis of this idea for a while through discussions over on Ravelry and frankly, it's the most exciting thing I've seen in a while.

Not in the pretty sparkles trivial kind of way, but in the long term susatainable everybody wins feel good kind of way.

The force that is Ms Gusset is putting her belief in the quality of Australian wool, the shared interests of the local aussie yarning community and the value of fighting for a rarer breed into action.

Instead of waiting for some commercial operator to wake up to the amazing properties of cormo she's organising a community pledge where you can commit to buying the finished yarn before it's been produced, thereby funding the production run.

Those who don't like to take risks might find this a difficult proposition, but I don't. I've knit with cormo - bought from the US with a shocking postage cost - and can attest it's an amazing wool, soft and rustic all at once, new and exciting and yet the very essence of sheepy delight.

I'm shocked we grow this wool on our doorstep but can't buy finished yarn here. It's so dumb. And I'm really excited by the idea of keeping it local and small and non commercial by getting the yarn users who trust our farmers, our tradespeople and millers, to fund the making of their own yarn.

It is a risk I will happily take - not just for the yarn (although that's motivation enough) but because the whole enterprise is a business model the excites the hell out of me. You can choose the amount you want to pledge - from buying a place on the email list to a single or multiple skeins of finished yarn.

Please go over and be a part of it here. Just click on the story and you can log into pozible - the online fund raising system that's facilitating this venture.

baa

2011-07-17T18:16:00.000+10:00

Bendigo Sheep and Wool Show. Blessed yarnie crack den.

July is now my favourite month of the year, sub zero temperatures and drizzle not with standing.

Amy and I, along with the wonderful miz p and her Amy aged daughter have just returned from a long weekend at the show of all shows - the place where us knitters and fibre hounds gather to fondle and buy and see and wonder and chat and eat and meet the people behind the Ravetars we have come to consider friends and the sheep folk who supply us our drugs.

I took pretty much no photos at all, being too absorbed in the general frenzy of activity, lanolin high and exhaustion born of the kind of highjinks that come with four girls in a hotel room directly above the pub band room cum wedding function room.

Not that I cared too much, it just meant more time for knitting, talking, stash cataloging and the encouraging of miz p, a self confessed 'non-knitter' who bought a considerable amount of yarn, arm knitted a scarf before dinner on Friday and stayed up way past the rest of us on Saturday churning through a garter stitch scarf for her man. I feel like a proud mum, she's so got the bug!

I spent a good part of Saturday helping out on the machine knitters stand, demonstrating the machine's uses by pumping out a pair of socks and helping Amy make miles of rolled up stocking stitch for an endless loop scarf. So great to get a few more inspired by the wonders of the machine.

Though it has to be said, the weather as we set on Friday was nothing short of stupendous, with glorious warming sun having us feel a little concerned about not packing T shirts. But it true Victorian style, the temperatures on Saturday fully justified substantial investment in wool and warming fibres and by today we were sheltering from the rain and turning on the car headlights at noon.

This year I prepared well, destashing quite a bit of yarn in the months leading up to the show to save my money and to make space for the the kinds of yarns I have become increasingly curious about. I also set myself some very specific project material requirement goals and some general parameters.

My main aim was to buy from small Australian companies, family farms, growers, those doing their best to keep a diversity of sheep breeds going, and those using less dye and harsh chemicals. I wanted a couple of jumper size lots, some machineable 4 plys for jumpers and blankets, some single skeins to try out, some hand spun and some bargains from the Bendigo Woollen Mills for machine sampling. I also wanted a few gifts and a jumbo pill shaver that doesn't run on batteries.

You may realise this amounts to quite a lot of purchasing, and that's true enough, but aside from a pair of wool denim jeans (didn't see that coming? yeah, me neither), I didn't stray outside my brief at all, and after taking account of the recent destashes in both monetary and weight values, I didn't actually add a whole lot to my stash. Especially if you stand quite a long way away and squint a bit.

And I am very happy indeed. There will be photos and descriptions loading up to my stash page in the next week or so for those interested, and of course you will see all that yarn getting knit up quick smart, right?

In fact I cast off my last knit project the minute we got home and they are soaking as I write - the big herringbone cowl from the Purl Soho site, and a matching beanie I improvised based on the same stitch and yarn combo I used for the cowl. Best fabric ever, I may have to knit quite a few more of these.

All of which leaves me with the job of fantasising about what to cast on next. Too exciting by halves.

home

2011-07-02T08:00:00.000+10:00

Gear change.

I spent yesterday moving all my gear out of the living room and back to the workroom - the knitting machines, the cones of yarn, the pattern books, the rolls of crochet hooks and knitting needles, random sample swatches, cast on combs, swift, ball and cone winders. I took the blocking wires out of knitted pieces and put away the many things I hadn't bothered with while I was lord of the manor.

I cleaned out the fridge and folded the washing, I cleaned up in the kitchen, changed the bedsheets and brought the bins in. I emptied the compost, swept the deck and rented a couple of new DVDs for a movie night last night so the kids wouldn't sit forlornly at the front window waiting for a plane delayed late arriving exhausted dad to come home.

I visited the chiro in the morning too, who is getting as good as me at recognizing the cycle of long haul solo parenting. The lack of sleep making me dependent on adrenaline, the adrenaline tightening my muscles and irritating my digestion, prompting headaches and migraines and neck and shoulder pain as well as teeth grinding and jaw pain. He realigns my ribs and temporarily relieves the chest pains and brings a flood of energy and a break in the dark clouds amassing, my growing exhaustion and frustration and sadness about the way my body and life bear the costs of D's relentless travel.

Wil crosses the last day off his chart of sleeps till daddy comes home but his night waking and nightmares has taken a toll on him too and he's flushed with exhaustion, cranky and disobedient. He still suspects that daddy might never come despite my assurances. I'm snippy with the girl child too and she's teary and full of a sense of injustice and I feel bad that I need her to pull her weight even if it's a reasonable expectation.

I know this part of the cycle. We're all exhausted and I am doing my best not to expect that the homecoming will bring with it the instant and total relief I crave.

Knowing in fact that the homecoming is often the site where lots of negative emotions to get played out. Resentment that I don't get a commensurate 'time off' after the efforts of holding the fort, my sense of loss over having my own (craft filled and friend filled) dominion. D clucking his tongue at how standards have slipped and the kids have gotten away with murder while he's been gone. Each of us feeling in our own ways ripped off and a certain awkwardness over where to from here.

I'm used to it by now, it's part and parcel of The Way Things Are. But like most inevitabilities, knowing it, recognising it, seeing it coming is no protection from it. I fancy I feel a little less resentful than I used, but maybe it's only because the exhaustion seems all the greater. I accept more as my sense of possibility to change thing diminishes. I'm guessing that's not a good thing. Or maybe it is, in some kooky Buddhist sense. After all the great lessons of life revolve around just this requirement to submit beyond the level that you comfortably can. Only time will tell I guess.

new

2011-06-25T15:36:00.000+10:00

I've started in a new role at work. In an environment where much seems to be unsettled, it's a strange and mixed experience. More background noise.

The bloke's away again, I'm making withdrawals on the favour bank and doing my best to not let standards slip too far. As usual the littles are manifesting their sense of disquiet in all kinds of ways, all equally sad for them and annoying for me.

Uncharacteristically there was a flood of tears and an hour of wailing at D's departure, a new development for the little bloke. He seems quite convinced that each of D's departures are inching closesr to a permanent separation.

I'm practising a philosophy of knit myself sane. Both knitting machines have taken up residence in the living room.

I've started my machine knit version of Kirsten's snuggly Kakomu with gorgeous lamb linen yarn from Avril and despite a few user error disasters, it's going pretty well.

I'm thrilled to pieces with this massive scarf/shawl I made too. In construction terms it's just a simple rectangle, but the thread of silk and stainless steel (also from Avril) that runs through it gives it an amazing textural quality. The monochromaric colour effects come from a bunch of lace weight cashmere cone ends from colourmart, switched in and out in single and double combinations with the silk stainless and then slightly felted. It's loosely inspired by the felt shawl in Setsuko Torii's Hand-knit works, one of my favourite aspirational knitting books.

And there's a big bunch of other machine knit projects in my head just busting to get out.

I'm also on the last gasp of the great golden hoodie. I love this project, this yarn, the pattern. But I will be very happy to give up carrying around 800gms of knit in my handbag everyday.

Now busy thinking about what I'll be casting on next...

tom

2011-06-21T21:24:00.001+10:00

Tom is soup in Thai, and the Thais make several soups that are right up there with my all time favorites. Tom yum goong was the first Thai soup I ever had and it was a revelation of sour, salty spiciness.

But I think my most favourite is tom ka gai - soup with coconut and chicken. It's fresh and tangy with an easily adjusted level of heat and I've never served it to anyone who hasn't liked it. Plus it's dead easy and quick to prepare. Its an all round winner.

As with all Thai food, a bit of variation in your ingredients keeps things interesting - but the quality of the final dish is all about the balance of the flavours - sweet, sour, salty, spicy. Add flavourings in increments and taste often.

Tom Ka Gai - soup with coconut and chicken
2 cups coconut milk
2 cups chicken stock
3 stalks of lemongrass cut into 4cm lengths and bruised
40gm fresh galangal, sliced (if fresh is a problem, frozen is better than dried)
Handful of fresh baby corn cut into 3cm lengths - if you can't get fresh skip the corn because tinned is an abomination
1 medium white onion, cut in bite size pieces (say, eighths)
100gms mushrooms (ideally straw, but next best is oyster then thin sliced button)
3 or 4 kaffir lime leaves torn into quarters
1 medium tomato cut into bite size pieces
200gms thin sliced chicken breast
1 cup coconut cream
2 plus tbsp fish sauce
2 plus tbsp lime juice
1 or more green chillies*
Handful of coriander leaves

Heat coconut milk and stock in a large pot until just boiling.
Add lemongrass, galangal, corn and onion. Let heat for a few minutes.
Add mushrooms and lime leaves and heat for a few more minutes.
Add chicken and tomato and heat until chicken is cooked.
Add coconut cream and just bring to the boil and remove from heat.
Add fish sauce, lime juice and chillies and serve with coriander leaves.

*The degree of heat released by the chillies depends on how much they are cut or bruised. They can be sliced for maximum heat, just steeped for minimum heat or bashed a bit with the back of the spoon for something in between. In general, the smaller the chillies are, the more intense the heat - use tiny 'mouse shit' chillies for power heat, or larger milder ones for a softer flavour. If you have kids or chillie haters, serve them first then add the chillies after.

fit

2011-06-17T17:15:00.000+10:00

One of the things I've surmised about teaching sewing is that often what students need to learn is less about how to sew than it is about how to fit garments. How to take a reasonably well sewn garment from something that doesn't look great because it doesn't really fit them into something that really sings.

In chatting with the lady of the bottomless skills we thought perhaps a workshop focused solely on modifying patterns and garments to really fit well would be a good thing. Nay an excellent thing.

I'm very excited about teaching it because my experience of going from off the rack (be it pattern or garment) to made just for me is revelatory. I've seen it in classes, I've seen it at craft camp, and I've experienced it myself. That feeling of wearing something you know is comfortable, flattering and elegantly tailored. Makes anyone feel like a million bucks.

It's a very hard thing to achieve alone - you need someone else with the pins while you stand straight and a few pairs of eyes looking at you from all angles to get it really right, so a workshop setting is perfect. There's me and my experience, but there's also a room full of other people who know what looks good and what doesn't, enough views to get a good discussion going and a lot of fun and excitement to be had.

So if you are in the Melbourne area and might be interested, pop on over to Nikki's site and check out the full monty of info.

bread

2011-06-12T13:10:00.001+10:00

Could the no knead bread be any more awesome?

Why yes, just add beer.

Will never look back.

Now that I'm too fat on bread to turn around.

remiss

2011-06-07T15:45:00.000+10:00

I realised this morning that the blog post about craft camp was only in my head. A small oversight.

Perhaps because I neglected to take any photos aside from this little fellow the blog post didn't stay on the radar, and by the time I photographed even some of the goodies I brought back it already seemed like a dream.

Anyhow it was, as always, a wonderful trip. All the good things were in the mix, the making, the relaxing, the laughing, the food and the enormous amounts of inspiration and creative high.

I was enormously pleased with the haul - a couple of big jobs out of the way, some fairly mundane sewing accomplished and a couple of unexpectedly exciting things popped out.

I love love love the quilt. LOVE IT. It is for my little brother and his new wife - because a new life together should always start with bedding I say.

I dyed quite a few of the fabrics, and I'm stupidly in love with the little title strip which is hand stamped on linen twill tape.

There was a new handbag, since the last one literally fell to bits. Pretty much identical to the last 3 or more I've made because this design really meets my needs. Making them out of regular fabric keeps the cost and time of making them down, so I'm OK with the regular replacement time frame. These fabrics are from Cloth and I'm loving them.

It was great to finally have a sew with the new Ink and Spindle jersey range. The kids got a T each and both love them. I note with sadness that this is surely the last time I can squeeze a T for Amy from a half meter piece.

The dress was a complete surprise, an experiment gone right, and way better in real life than photo. I love it! There is also a cardi and wrap I haven't photographed.

And as I generally note, a word of gratitude to the fellow campers who go on sharing this belief in the value of crafting community. I say it often, but it's not to be underestimated how fragile communities are, how deeply they rely on a collective agreement to park individual wants outside the door for the sake of everyone getting along. It doesn't take much to shatter that, and it can be easy to lose sight of why you would bother to compromise on a whole range of preferences, to put up with other people's foibles and ways for the sake of a shared space. So to everyone who holds a tongue, who decides they don't mind so much, who is happy to pitch in above and beyond what they must, who gives of things material and ephemeral I thank you.

apple

2011-06-04T19:05:00.000+10:00

The machine is on fire and I'm following in its wake.

This one couldn't have been easier or faster - about 2 hours! 225gms of rowan 4ply wool in apple.

The girl couldn't have been happier. Or posier.

Stiff competition for cute from the boy child too.

The other apple of my eye.

seamless

2011-06-01T16:14:00.000+10:00

I will confess that as much as I love my knitting machine, in recent times I've been feeling a bit, well, deflated.

When I started with the machine, a happy accident in itself, I said if all I got out of it was some scarves and large rectangles I'd feel pretty happy. And almost as soon as it was up and running I produced knitting of the kind I would never dream of attempting by hand, large featherweight scarves and stoles with pretty tuck stitching.

But perhaps inevitably, pretty soon I was looking to move on. I mean how many scarves can a girl use? How many can I give as gifts? When the capacity for production is so great the products start to feel less special.

And at the same time my hand knitting has been progressing well and giving me a lot of joy. Lots of projects coming together, some really great yarns getting bought and used. Lots of otherwise empty time spent waiting and blobbing and commuting used for meditative stitching. Lots of sharing and show and tell and communing with knitting buddies. All very satisfying.

But the promise of the machine beckons. So I started some lessons, and I started some garments and while there have been some perfectly usable outcomes, the honest truth was that I felt quite underwhelmed. The process is mechanical, the results unpredictable, there's a lot of waste and frustration and many many limitations. Aside from the occasional returns to lovely rectangles of beautiful yarn I just wasn't getting excited in the way I fully expected to.

So I can't tell you how deeply gratifying it was to make my first one piece garment. While the sample had many imperfections it's the first thing I've made right from the I wonder if you could do this, through the small scale model to the fully fledged garment. And in a display of the forces for good, I decided to bypass the whole swatch and calculation phase, the reliance on the numbers and the plan phase and just knit using my best intuitive guesses for size and proportion.

I did that not just because it's boring and complicated and a frustrating delay in the journey towards the actual knitting, but also because one of the things I've decided I don't much like about the machine knitting process when you are making a garment is that once you are underway you just have to keep going till the end, fingers crossed it will all come good in the wash. But I don't sew like that, and I don't even hand knit like that. I cut and modify and undo and redo, and while some of that is a calculated process, a good portion of it is just guess work and instinct.

And really, when I think about it, it's the development of those instincts that I really value. I like that through many many iterations of making I've come to a point where I often just have a sense - a sense that curve should be a little flatter, that those stitches should be a little wider, that this sleeve is just never going to fit that armhole. And where the machine seemed to be working against me was where I was trying to bypass those instincts, not only because they weren't there yet, but by working in a way that cut them out entirely.

So like I say, I was darned pleased with the sample, and even more so with the second version - better yarn, fewer mistakes (though still plenty!). My joy then magnified on discovering the garment can be worn many more ways than I had imagined. I think maybe I'm beginning to get a feel for how I might make the machine work with me after all.

order

2011-05-17T07:44:00.001+10:00

They haven't given me anything for free or anything but I'm still going to say I love appliances online. Cheap, fast, reliable, on time, helpful. Seriously, it's not often I can say that about a shopping experience. Anyway, the new dryer is rockin.

The washing machine is fixed now that the blocked spigot is unblocked. A simple thing, and the machine lives to wash another day.

So order has been restored to the laundry.

The germs in my throat have migrated South in a fit of pique so I'm now coughing like all get out and it's a delight to behold.

In other news I am preparing to send the girl child off on her first proper 2 night camp with school, a topic of much angsty talk as I am sure you can imagine. With this super cold snap too, it is the topic of several notices home from school which ask HOW WILL YOU DEAL WITH THE COLD? HOW ARE YOU GOING TO DEAL WITH BEING WET? Nothing like a bit of alarm.

I'm also preparing for the making of a wedding quilt. No pressure or anything. I've got a pretty tight brief so I am going to need to buy quite a bit of fabric. I'm not real keen on buying fabric under pressure but I am hoping to get a good amount done at craft camp so time is ticking over and the days of lengthy pondering are shortening all the time.

I am knitting like a demon on D's jumper and fantasising about machine knitting. It's hard to find the big chunks of time you really need to progress machine knit projects. I keep thinking about all the ways that machine knitting is so very different to the hand variety. I'm definitely glad to have both but it can be frustrating to deal with the drawbacks of one over the other.

The bloke is off later in the week for yet another jaunt over the seas. My joy over his overwhelming career success must occasionally take a back seat to my bitter resentment. Only occasionally. Mostly it's just generic brand grumpiness at being a solo parent but there is a twinge of jealousy of getting to do the stuff you're really good at, for money and acclaim, unencumbered. A reflection on the limitations placed on my own work I guess. Anyway, ho hum same old same old.

At last the US dollar is strengthening, which means I can stop feeling compelled to buy yarn from overseas. Don't you judge me.

kaput

2011-05-11T10:28:00.000+10:00

There are so many germs in my throat they have formed their own union and are making demands for permanent residency.

The clothes dryer that has been limping on ever since the tenants shot the bearings has finally ground to a complete halt. I mean, we don't use the dryer much but we assume the tenants did, as do many Europeans and that the damage sustained was probably age plus overwork. Since we don't use it much we've managed for the last year and a half, using it when critical with lots of stopping and starting to keep the thermostat from overheating. But this latest rediculously cold snap has done it in completely and we've bitten the bullet and bought another one. Awaiting delivery.

And quite literally while making the call for the dryer, the washer decided it's over it too. I've always said how great my washer is - and I reckon 11 years without a service call and pretty much a load a day for the last 9 years isn't too bad at all. I have to wait a few days for the service guy, so my house is full of wet partially washed clothes, a lot of wet towels (part of the manual draining exercise) and drying racks filled to the brim.

The drying rack is mostly broken too, held together with yarn scraps and cable ties.

Grim times I'm telling you. Lucky the knitting is working out.

cold

2011-05-06T13:47:00.000+10:00

I blame the weather for a sudden consuming obsession with all things yarn.

Knitting,

planning,

swatching,

buying,

fondling,

dyeing and

wearing (an extraordinarily generous gift from Amanda - perfection!).

holiday

2011-04-24T15:30:00.000+10:00

I'm feeling especially grateful for the Easter break this year. So many school holidays are a juggle of maintaining regular obligations plus having kids to amuse and increasingly I'm taking my work breaks in bite size chunks to plug holes in the caring roster. And it seems like every 'big' holiday we plan gets delayed or abandoned altogether for one reason or another.

So at the end of two weeks of school holidays and Amy coming to work with me to go to vacation care, I decided to take a wee road trip. I packed a few small craft tasks suitable for working on at a kitchen table whilst talking one's head off, a change of clothes and a jar of home made jam and the girl child and I set off.

Now I'm new enough to driving that such a venture, while not exactly terrifying is still a bit of a stretch. I am very conscious, in some ways even more so now than when I very first took to the wheel a few years ago, that driving and the freedom it affords is an enormous privilege but also a responsibility. But everything went smoothly, and even a major rain band that took away all visibility and pushed and pulled the car about was managed.

As we headed north the temperature started to drop and by the time Ms Ric Rac opened her door to welcome us in to her lovely home it was bloody freezing outside. Just perfect for appreciating a large array of hand knits. All at the same time. And wishing our car had a heater, or was at least a little draft proof.

We got to meet the whole Ric Rac clan, four legged, winged and stuffed creatures included, who all generously shared their space with good humor (except the cats who definitely would have been happier if we'd stayed home). There was delicious cake and tea, the completion of the fourth row on the retro blanket, some of Tania's Easter chicks, a finger puppet or two and some more rows on the grapevine.

And through all this, the girl child behaved in a way that made me not only proud but finally able to imagine a time when she will be less a responsibility and more company. She stitched (like a pro!) and wandered in the garden, ate cake and had nice manners and told funny stories and was generally both self sufficient and entertaining. As much as you can hope for from any friend.

And Jodie and I talked and laughed in that relaxed and warming way that friends do, the way that makes you feel very lucky indeed to have others share the journey. Especially when they bring the cake and some black felt to replace a tiny finger puppet wing somehow lost along the way. So nice to be hosted it must be said, made me feel a bit princess like.

On Saturday we headed off to Daylesford for the Makers Market, along with approximately 50,000 tourists who clogged the roads, ate all the good bread before we could get to the bakery and sat on all the cafe seats. Really, it was so extraordinarily busy I was quite aghast. But we valiantly pressed on, allowing stall holders to greet Jodie loudly, press wee chocolate eggs in the girl's hand (the privilege of being cute) and tempt me with beautiful handspun yarn. (Already on its way to becoming a looped cowl).

A very satisfying holiday (thank you so much Jodie!!), it felt like a real break and on the drive home I kept thinking blergh, work tomorrow then Oh! Yay! No work tomorrow! So instead I thought about the to do list while the girl child played DJ with the iPad.

First up, there's wearing in of new boots to be done. Hard and important work. Mostly to establish beyond doubt that they were not 50% off because they are hideously uncomfortable or otherwise stupid.

There's 2 new long sleeve Ts for the bloke to sew. I'm keen to get these done quickly and well. Its a fairly new thing for D to ask for clothes, especially the sort of everyday wear he'd normally pop out and get on his own and I figure if I can deliver it will give him renewed respect for the whole making not buying thing, not to mention feel more inclined to pick up the domestic slack if I am off doing stuff that's just for him. And a quick win before the long hard yards of the upcoming hand knit hoodie may do me well by the making gods.

I am awaiting the arrival of yarn for said hoodie, and while normally I would be literally hanging off the letterbox in anticipation I am keen to get at least one or two things off the needles before I start another since I am the kind of knitter who prefers monogamy and find that when I stray I am haunted by a low level anxiety I simply can't shake. Between the blanket, the long suffering Ishbel, the loopy cowl and the grapevine I just can't imagine space for a new project, let alone a great big blokey hooded thing. In yellow. So I am knitting and plan to keep knitting. Lots.

I've also been thinking about a new cardi style wrap for myself made out of some of the really exciting new 'aspen' fabric from Tessuti. How is that RED?! LOVE. It's really similar to the hotwire I made tops with last year But I need time to experiment to really make the most of it.

And I need to seam and perhaps play about with the machine knit vest I knocked out before I went away. I'm not sure the gauge is as I thought, or my math may be bad, but this is perhaps a tad large and odd. The colour is also a major leap for me, but a little challenge to my colour palette may be well overdue.

There's also hot cross buns to make, left over roast to be turned into shepherd's pie, a manky fridge to clean and restock and more than a little tidying needed in the workroom. Oh and children to amuse.

So, right. To it.

cashew

2011-04-18T11:52:00.003+10:00

Stir fried chicken with cashew nuts like pad thai is one of those Thai dishes you see in every take away and tourist cafe. It can be bland and soggy, like the worst kind of Chinese food. But at it's best it's a lovely mellow dish, quick to make and easy to eat, well complimented by some steamed or stir fried greens or a crunchy cabbage salad.

You can take this dish from completely chili free right up to chili laden, depending on your preference. With kids in tow I usually make this dish with capsicum rather than chili, then toss in a few whole dried chilies which don't really add heat, just flavor and are easily avoided by the smalls. If I had miraculously cryogenically frozen the kids I'd use loads of fresh mild green and red chilies (or a moderate amount of the hotter kind cut in smaller slivers) as well as a handful of the dried kind.

The whole dish is greatly improved by using fresh roasted cashews. Stale nuts are a blight on the kitchen and since the nuts are a central ingredient here it's important they taste good. If you buy them unroasted (or if you like them extra crisp) toss them in a dry pan till they are nicely browned just before you start cooking. It is fine to use salted nuts.

Stir fried chicken with cashews

2 tbs peanut oil

1 onion, sliced

3 or 4 cloves of garlic, smashed or roughly chopped (not too fine!)

400gms of sliced boneless, skinless chicken - I prefer thigh but breast works well too

Sliced or diced capsicum or chili or a mix of both - say half each red and green capsicum or 2 large mild chilies or 2 small hot chilies

4 or 5 spring onions cut in 3cm lengths

3-4 dried whole chilies

2 tbs oyster sauce

2 tbs soy sauce

2 tbs water or chicken stock (if required)

1/4 cup roasted cashews

Heat the wok on high then add the oil and then the onion and garlic. Toss briefly until garlic starts to brown.

Add chicken and stir until browned.

Add capsicum and/or fresh chili and toss for a minute or two.

Add spring onions, dried chilies, sauces and a little stock or water if you like more moisture. Mix well until sauce is boiling.

Remove from heat and toss cashews through.

All photos in this post kindly supplied by Ellen!

making

2011-04-16T11:08:00.000+10:00

Whilst doing my best to follow the rules, I have been furiously making in the slivers of time that work and school holidays allow. The making is most definitely for sanity as well as practicality in a house of rapidly growing children and rapidly approaching cold weather.

The hoodie for Wil which started as a 'rainbow' jumper and was downgraded to a 'traffic lights' jumper is done. The boy seems pleased, though is yet to wear it for anything other than a photo shoot so we will see. I figure at the very least the super soft and snuggly malabrigo yarn will draw him in when the weather gets really cold.

This is the third time I've knit this pattern and it's lost none of its charm - quick, easy and a very well fitted and comfortable garment at the end. I used an applied icord edging to the hood instead of having a casing and draw string and I added a pocket to the front for Wil's frozen hands on walks to the tram stop on cold mornings.

This is the first time I have knit a garment from malabrigo and I have no complaints at all. It is stronger and better behaved than I would have expected from a single and the softness and fuzzing up make it a very appealing winter yarn. I have enough left from this project to make myself a cowl and I think I will.

I also finished this felicity hat in gorgeous sublime yarn I received in a swap with Ms T last year. The yarn is aptly named - quite an experience to knit with and the finished product has luster and drape and weight and excellent stitch definition. I will be using this yarn again. The hat is not for me, but the recipient won't be getting it just yet. I immediately cast on a second, also not for me, from the red malabrigo I used on the hoodie.

The hats are a distraction from the much bigger task I have of swatching and planning for a new top for me. I've looked at loads of patterns, and none of them are quite what I want so I think I have to design my own. This is both exciting and daunting. Hence the hats.

The knitting machine has been fairly quiet, though I was very excited to test out this little idea. I had been wondering about the possibilities in relation to seamless construction on the machine but couldn't fully grasp in my mind how it could work. I decided that rather than wallow in my own lack of conceptual design skills I would just try it out. For Wil's teddy bear. Of course the sizing was super wrong (see that fold in the back?), but basically it worked. One single piece knitted and shaped using short rows and cast off cast ons. Also a good sized swatch of a kilo cone of fine denim yarn I picked up super cheap. Now to turn the concept in to garment...

Progress continues on the retro blanket. 3 and a half rows of 23 hexes, only 16 and a half to go! Woot!

Sewing has been focused on kitting up the taller and lankier girl child who has seemingly either out grown or worn out every cool weather item she has. I am enjoying her emerging sense of style and we now discuss shape and fabric choices in a much more sophisticated way when I am making her clothes. Joy.

First up some slightly oversized flares. I admit to shaving down the width a little and adding elastic to the waist but otherwise these are unchanged from the Ottobre pattern Sarita (1/2009 size 128cm). They have a super chunky hem which I quite like and she loves them. The elephant on the pocket is by the ever generous Ms Ric Rac, the left overs of the great undie print run of 2011. The denim is a very heavy weight bought at the op shop for $2 and already half used to make my overlocker carrier. Damn fine value.

Then two long sleeve Ts also from stash fabric. The cartoon print came from a destash over at Twiglet's studio and the plain light grey was from spotlight (a surprisingly thick and soft quality jersey). This one is decorated with iron on transfers Amy got for Christmas. Both made using the same basic fitted T pattern from Ottobre's creative workshop in size 134cm with a little shaved off the shoulders.

And it isn't new but I am nonetheless very much re-enjoying last year's prize knit, the enormous stonewall shawl. I'm also deeply impressed with how well this yarn has held up to an enormous amount of wear - not a single pill in sight - which I think for a silk merino blend is quite the miracle.

There's Thai food too - but I'll save that for it's own post (photo courtesy of Turning Japanese).

rules*

2011-04-08T16:46:00.002+10:00

In an unstable environment take nothing for granted. Even good people do dumb stuff when the very definition of normal is up for grabs. Be shocked, be appalled, be angry, be sad but don't be surprised.

When people feel threatened they will act out of self interest. They quite likely don't realise it so all the more important that you do and make an independent judgment.

Going with the flow can take you a long way from home. Once you lose your bearings the only thing that counts is keeping your head above water, and all possibility for something more meaningful is lost.

If you are in a situation where you cannot behave in a way you feel proud of, you are in a bad situation and should leave.

Don't stay when you know you should go. But don't expect leaving to be painless. Just because its right, doesn't mean its easy.

You can't control what other people do, only try to control your own response.

It doesn't matter how wrong or outrageous someone else's behaviour is, you need to think through the consequences of your own reaction on them - in the end if you paint someone into a corner, they will come out fighting.

Life is too short to always take the safe or easy option. It's also too short to go from one knee jerk to the next.

* these are my rules, and a reminder for me. They are all obvious and trite, but it seems I am nonetheless good at forgetting them. I am making no claim to universal application rule writing status, so no need to tell me I am not a zen master.

reprise

2011-04-02T20:17:00.001+11:00

I couldn't really call two posts in row weekend could I? And yet, really that's all I seem to have to say. Week end.

Another went by.

More days at the spanner works experiencing the deepening craziness. Part farce, part high drama.

A day at the hospital while Amy had her brains scanned for weirdness. An anticlimactic and yet thoroughly draining exercise.

Another knitting machine class, more homework to do.

Joined pintrest and now have a whole other vice to not overindulge in.

Dreaming of making myself a jacket with a hood. And a big standing up kind of rim/collar. Possibly in silver. I have no idea where this image is coming from but it is compelling indeed.

Another round of gai yang, and resulting left overs salad the next day eaten in the sun in the tiny park beside parliament. The best I have made so far. I even remembered to take photos of the finished dish and go back and add them in to the post with the recipe. On fire, eh?

Progress in Wil's hoodie - just the hood to finish and it is done. Starting to wonder what to cast on next and with what yarn.

Progress even on the crochet blanket. While it is still only drops in the ocean I am not yet jaded enough to not do a wee little happy dance on the inside as I say another one done. That's 9 down and 403 to go! Yay! I've also worked out a better sorting and carriage system which means I can transport it without needing to take it all.

I have been following the case of Arthur Freeman and have had some illuminating discussions on legal definitions and insanity. I can't tell you how deeply I've felt this, as I know many have from over here on the side lines. I simply can't begin to imagine the horror of that happening anywhere real and close to me. When I read the lines of Darcy's mother's victim impact statement about still feeling her child's hand in hers, of cuddling her at night I had an inkling. Enough to scare the living daylights out of me. There's been some extra hugs for the rascal lad and sparkly girl. Much admiring of eyes and smiles and shiny hair.

And I am also going to out myself and say I am listening to the audio book of eat, pray, love and despite very low expectations and a lingering image of Julia Roberts I would rather not have, I am really quite enjoying it. I know! I think the author is an excellent narrator and I can say with absolute certainty that I never want to see the film, because all that I do like about the book - the musings and language play - would be totally lost in the drippy scenery of romaticisim. I have had more than a few yearnings in this last week or so about returning to India, about taking a bit more time to think about things. Not in a wanky hippy way you understand. Anyway, pleasant to be surprised.

And now I'm off to set all the clocks back to kiss off another year of daylight saving. Just so the kids can get up at 5.30 tomorrow morning.

weekend

2011-03-27T11:42:00.001+11:00

The fun never ends - another twilight fair.

Completed and worn, a very lovely Harvest Moon.

A very impressive cubby house built of scrap timber and scaffolding while I was off teaching a class. The kids are over the moon, the bloke is pretty chuffed with himself (and the power of the cable tie), and I'm looking forward to getting new garden beds from the clean up.

Progress on Wil's hoodie. A bit rasta for me but the malabrigo is as soft as soft and a pleasure to knit.

Homework for machine knitting class. Rather a lot this month, including a hat, shawl, socks and booties. The shawl was a challenge and I ran out of yarn for the full circle, but man, picking up the literally thousands of stitches for the garter stitch border is killing me. Killing. Me.

And at last the girl child has outgrown the simple bob. Although she is weighted down with her fear of being ridiculed for being boy like, the truth is she looks stunning with it and I look forward to mornings free of howling over hair brushing.

And I will spare you any photos I may have taken of the 2 extended wake ups from nightmares, followed by the bed wetting (an event I am very fortunate to be a party to on the rarest of occasions) and the one and a half hour period of wakefulness that followed - all while the bloke was out on the town. Also spared is the sight of my furrowed brow, my bloodshot eyes and my severely sleep deprived and crankiness personified self.

restraint

2011-03-23T20:09:00.001+11:00

Yeah, well. That idea about not enhancing the stash unless there was need? It appears not to have taken. Gosh, do you think less of me?

Though to be fair, I have very specific and useful projects in mind.

Firstly, after the last post about halting the stash, I thought a bit and talked a bit about what I thought would be my downfall. My guess was denim. I make myself at least one pair of jeans a year, and the kids at least two pairs a year each. There's also assorted other garments (shorts, skirts) and quite a bit of crafting more generally (bags, wheat packs, miscellaneous sturdy objects), and while my stash held a few good sized pieces I didn't think there was enough to keep me going for more than six months.

So when I popped into Tessuti to pick up a new Japanese book I've been hankering for with a very special project in mind, the three newly arrived rolls of superb indigo denim and lycra lying on the counter was my undoing. Useful, needed, barely a stash enhancement at all.

And as I was wearing one of my favourite work shirts last week I was thinking it really is time I added a few more for the cooler months and some good weighty cotton elastine+discount voucher for spotlight=two new shirts for me.

And while I was there I got winter pj flannelet and jersey combos plus some long sleeve tshirt and leggings combos since my kids seem to suddenly have shot out in the limb department (bringing back memories of about this time last year).

And try as I might, there simply were not buttons in the button stash suitable for the completed harvest moon cardi, so there was a trip to Buttonmania, a little indecision and a resulting stash enhancement.

And a stash enhancement of the tooling kind, shortly to be followed by some necessary yarn purchase since I have, at last cranked up the great crochet blanket project I inherited from the wonderfully talented Shula. It was an embarrassingly long time ago, but I think I am finally over my fear and intimidation that I will never be able to match the borders and construction work Shula had already started. Now to work out exactly how much of the edging yarn I will need (gulp) and I will be forking out for that too.

And speaking of yarn, it's not a purchase, but I did finally manage to skein up a good amount of the coned yarn I had from the Yarn Workshop closing down blow out, so it feels like a stash enhancement now that it's ready to be dyed.

Whew that's a lot of work waiting to be done, and I haven't even told you about this month's machine knitting homework, which includes a full sized circular shawl, a pair of socks and a hat. Best I go have a cup of tea and a quick crochet.

edited to add - I did my first hex edge and join last night at 32 minutes and 2gms of yarn. So that's one down, 411 to go or 219 hours and 822 gms of yarn ahead. I may need a lie down...

noodle

2011-03-21T10:25:00.005+11:00

I will start by saying that compared to the other dishes I've written about so far, I find this dish, Pad Thai (Thai style fried noodles) quite hard to get right. It's not a taste thing, it's a technique thing.

As best I can tell, based on my experience, a good wok is a key component. I have an excellent but small wok, and recently added a larger wok to my kitchen. It's a good wok, don't get me wrong - heavy steel with a big wooden handle all the way from Hong Kong - but it's young, and the food that comes out of it still tastes like new wok to me. And it's hard to get it hot enough on my domestic wok burner.

I get how to season a wok, and my little wok is completely black and pretty much a non stick wonder from the build up of hard set oil. It's not sticky or yukky or rusty and everything that comes out of it tastes like wok food should. But despite the careful seasoning of the new wok, it's just not yet matured enough to withstand the addition of things like water into the cooking without taking on some of the metallic wok taste.

The second key component - and really I know this and yet I continue to push it past the point of sensible - is keeping the serving size small. Pad Thai is a lunch dish, a hawker dish, a one plate meal dish. It is not made in bulk to feed the masses, and there is a reason for this. Unless you have an industrial wok burner on your stove, a seriously big restaurant style one, you simply can't get enough heat to cook a large quantity before the noodles on top go claggy.

Which brings me to the third critical issue for success - the noodles. Of course in Thailand, fresh rice noodles are freely available in every market. They taste better, they have different texture and they cook differently and faster than the dried kind. You toss then straight into the wok, with perhaps a dash of water to make a little steam if they are a bit dry, but basically they just need heating.

Dried noodles on the other hand need to be re hydrated as well as simply warmed, and the manner in which this is done will determine how firm and al dente (to borrow and Italianism) they are, and how well they avoid the gluggy thing. At cooking class we simply tossed the noodles, un soaked, into the wok and added water, a little a time until they were perfectly well cooked.

But this absolutely will not work with a larger quantity (ask me how I know this). Before learning this I had always pre soaked the noodles in cold water and then added them to the wok once softened (but still firm). I know from the really delicious version I made in class that wok cooking the noodles is a better option than pre soaking, but it also feel a bit like a high wire act.

Pad Thai (Thai style fried noodles)

1 tbs vegetable oil.

Extra firm tofu (usually in vac pack plastic rather than in water), small block (a little bigger than a matchbox) per serve, cut into Julienne

1 red shallot finely chopped

2 cloves of garlic finely chopped

Thin flat rice noodles - fresh is best, but more likely dried, a handful per serve

1 tbs Thai preserved turnip, chopped (omit if you can't find it)

2 tbs tamarind puree

1.5 tbs shaved palm or regular sugar

1 tbs fish sauce

1/2 tsp ground dried chili (optional)

1 egg

1 tbs dried shrimp and/or a few fresh raw prawns (the latter gives you the luxe version of pad thai)

1/2 cup bean shoots

A bunch of chinese (garlic) chives in 3cm lengths.

2 tbs peanuts, chopped

Half a lime

If you are going to pre soak noodles, put them in cool water first and set aside. Boil the kettle too so if you are adding in a bit of water for noodles later it will be hot already.

Get everything ready because you are going to work fast on the wok and don't want to stop stirring long enough to measure anything out.

Heat the wok, add the oil and add the shallots, garlic and tofu. Toss for a minute or so.

That's Yui there in my cooking class - Hi Yui!

Add noodles to the wok and a bit of water if necessary. Even if pre soaked they should still be firmer than you would like to eat them. They will want to stick so keep them moving and only add small amounts of water at a time - don't let moisture build up in the pan.

Add turnip, tamarind, fish sauce, sugar and chili (if you are using any). Toss.

Push everything to one side and crack the egg into the bottom of the wok. Using the wok stirrer, scramble the egg up and when mostly cooked, toss the noodles on top and stir in.

Add shrimp, half the bean shoots and half the chives and toss well. Taste to make sure the balance is right - add more tamarind, sugar or fish sauce if required.

Noodles should now be al dente. Pour noodles onto a plate and serve with peanuts, remaining bean shoots and chives and lime.

beef

2011-03-19T09:39:00.004+11:00

Yum nua, spicy beef salad, is wonderful mix of warm juicy steak, light, crisp vegetables and sour spicy dressing. It is not dissimilar to laab in flavour or in the place it occupies in a meal, though it tends to be a more substantial dish due to the increased amount of vegetables involved.

I will start by saying in all my travels I have never eaten this dish in Thailand. I know it is well referenced in authentic Thai cookbooks and is well known outside of Thailand too, but beef is a much less available (and delectable) commodity in Thailand than other forms of meat so perhaps I've just blocked it out of consideration.

I make beef salad in a fairly lackadaisical manner, depending a lot on what I have on hand - and so long as the dressing has the characteristic sour, spicy and salty it always tastes good.

Of late I have also taken to making yum nua without the beef altogether and using kangaroo fillet instead. Roo is perfect in terms of texture and flavour and while as inauthentic as it could be, our Thai friends approve. Roo is also healthier to eat than beef, and better environmentally.

The method for making this dish is to toss and assemble everything together before serving, but I have on occasion served individual components for self assembly to allow for the smalls to skip the spicy salad and D to skip the cucumber. Taking a more pragmatic approach allows me to eat the food I really like more often without needing to prepare a second meal for those who don't like the heat, the meat or anything else - go for what works I say!

Yum nua (spicy beef salad)
Beef steak or kangaroo fillet - you will be eating this rare so buy a good cut, about 200gms per person for a main meal (less if it is part of a banquet). If you want to you can pre marinade the meat in a little soy sauce, garlic or similar.
Salad greens - mixed leaves or cos roughly chopped
Mint leaves - a few sprigs per serve, chopped
Coriander leaves - a small handful per serve, chopped
Cherry tomatoes - halved
Baby carrots - finely julienned or thin sliced
Lebanese cucumber - halved and sliced thinly on the diagonal
Red onion or red shallot - thinly sliced
Crispy fried shallots - a sprinkle over the top before serving
Toasted rice - a tablespoon or so (see here for an explanation of toasted rice)
Small red chillies, finely sliced - amount is optional. Can also use dried flakes if you don't have fresh on hand, or a combination of the 2 kinds of chili.
2-3 limes, juiced
3 tbs fish sauce
*some recipes also use mashed or finely chopped garlic and some palm sugar in the dressing, and add finely sliced spring onions to the salad

Grill, barbcue or fry the meat on a very high heat until well sealed but still rare, then rest in a warm place for 10 minutes or more. The resting and acidic juices in the dressing will diminish the rareness of the meat so be careful not to overcook!

While the meat rests toss all ingredients except chili, lime, fish sauce and shallots. Mix the lime juice, fish sauce and chili (starting with 2/3 of amount so you can top up afterwards) on a plate. Thinly slice warm beef or roo across the grain and place into dressing on plate.

Toss the meat into the other ingredients and mix well. Taste for flavour, add more fish sauce, lime juice and chili as required. Sprinkle with shallots and garnish with extra coriander leaves and mint sprigs.

fate

2011-03-17T16:42:00.000+11:00

As I barrel along on yet another great enterprise (school fete handmade stall coordinator), worried about getting everything done, feeling rushed and overcommited, heading out after bed time for meetings, cursing myself, I am also thinking how familiar this all is. It's one of those all roads lead to Rome kind of things.

Community+help needed+obviously useful skills+can't say no+mates=taking on too much.

It's a bit like:
new idea+textiles+intense concentration+avoidance of mundane responsibilities+potentially cool finished product=obsession
but I digress.

Whether it is my inability to say no to getting involved in community enterprises or new crafts or fabric purchases, I wonder less why I simply can't say no than why I fight so hard against saying yes?

Well, partly I know - the being overrun by piles of stash is a good reason to put the brakes on, as is staying up all night to sew stuff to sell for a song only to be exhausted and cranky the next day. But to what degree can I fight my essential nature?

How much of the fete is fate?

gai

2011-03-16T20:02:00.005+11:00

Gai (chicken) is the most common of meats in Thailand alongside pork. It appears in curry and stir fry, ground in salads and it's most commonplace food on the run version - gai yang, or grilled chicken. This is another Isaan regional dish, but available all over Thailand, sold at hawker markets and by mobile sellers at train and bus stations. While the practice of travelling with unrefrigerated, cooked meat in the hot and humid Thai climate can make gai yang a bit of a bacteria risk, eaten fresh from the grill of a hawker stand this makes an excellent meal. It is most commonly served with sweet chili sauce, sticky rice and som tum (green papaya salad).

Gai yang really is just grilled marinated chicken - so it's nowhere close to being hard to make, and is universally liked. It's not spicy, and left overs are easy to use in sandwiches and salads. My friend Maria once diced up some left overs from this dish and tossed it up with the cabbage and cucumber that had been the garnish from the previous night's dinner, added fish sauce, sweet chili sauce and lime and it was a stunningly good salad. I seem to recall scoffing rather a lot of it.

In Thailand a whole quarter of a chicken is used, skinned, flattened out and wedged between split bamboo. This provides both the tongs and a 'handle' with which to eat it all in one. Brilliant. The bones in these pieces definitely add flavour and moisture to the meat while grilling, but boneless thigh fillets can also be used if you intend to chop it up to serve or if kids are involved and bones make it all too hard.

The marinade varies a lot from maker to maker and when I asked my Thai cooking teacher Yui about a recipe she said that everyone makes it their own way - it's not a dish with a recipe! Instead she gave me a list of ingredients people might use, but warned me to be careful of the sugar content because it makes it harder to cook the meat all the way through before the marinade burns. In that spirit I don't tend to measure the ingredients or get too worried if I am missing an ingredient or two, or if I toss in something new now and again.

Gai yang is ideally cooked over charcoal or wood fires to impart the characteristic flavour that brings South East Asia instantly to mind. In reality, I generally use the barbecue, or at a pinch the griller part of the oven.

Gai Yang (grilled or barbecued chicken*)

Skinless chicken pieces - drumsticks, chicken 'chops', maryland, thigh fillets etc. I usually do about a kilo at a time, but you can easily do more or less.

Coriander roots - this is quite literally the root bits at the bottom of the stems on a bunch of coriander (it is very annoying how often supermarket ones come already de-rooted!). I'd use the roots from the whole bunch.
Garlic - about 4 cloves, give or take.
Soy - I like the dark kind for this dish, a couple of tablespoons.
Pepper - ground black or white, about half a teaspoon.
Lemongrass - 2 stalks, white part only, roughly chopped.
Oyster sauce - 3 or 4 tablespoons.
Fish sauce - 1 or 2 tablespoons.
Tumeric - a small fresh grated knob or a few pinches of dried ground.
Ginger - a small fresh grated knob.
Palm sugar/white sugar/plum sauce - not too much or it burns.
(and remember don't worry if you don't use all these things!)

The marinade can be made in a mortar and pestle, but I usually smash it all up with the stab blender. Increase the amount of soy, fish or oyster sauce if there isn't enough liquid to make a runny paste.

Toss the raw chicken pieces through the marinade and let sit for at least a few hours, though overnight to 24 hours is way better.

Cook on a hot grill or barbecue and serve with sticky rice, sweet chili sauce and a garnish of shredded cabbage and sliced cucumber.

*this dish is also excellent made with pork, and quite possibly fish as well.

fish

2011-03-13T10:27:00.000+11:00

Thais do good fish. I, on the other hand have never been super confident with cooking pla (fish), but recently I have been doing my best to conquer my fears. Mostly because it seems like a lot of restaurants where you can get Thai fish dishes use really ordinary fish, and it just isn't the same.

This dish, fish with tamarind sauce, is generally served with a whole fried fish, though as I have done here you can also use fillets. It's not as spectacular in the looks department, but much more achievable on a weeknight, and more palatable if you have smalls who find looking at a whole fish a bit creepy.

When we lived in Northern Thailand we had this dish a lot, most often at the Tha Nam (river front) sitting upstairs in an old open sided teak house overlooking the water. The dish was made with tub tim, a local river fish, and it was divine. So so divine. It was worth the considerable hassle to get there (it is well out of the city centre) to eat the fantastic food and listen to the music ensemble that not only played, but let a very enthusiastic just turned 3 Maliwan (Amy) play an instrument or two too.

I make no claims to this dish being as good as theirs, but I will happily say it is an achievable thing to make at home and it is well like by all members of the family. I serve it with rice and stir fried veggies, but it would also be excellent with som tum or another salad. You can also use the tamarind sauce very successfully on grilled chicken.

Crispy fish with tamarind sauce
Fish, either whole or fillets. For the 4 of us I used about 600gms of snapper fillets.
Oil for frying (peanut gives the best flavour)
1 small red shallot, finely diced
1-3 small red chilies, seeded, deveined and finely chopped
3 cloves of garlic, finely chopped
3 tbs palm sugar
2-3 tbs fish sauce
1.5 tbs tamarind puree
coriander

Make the sauce first. In a small amount of oil and low heat, soften the garlic, shallot and chili. Add the sugar, fish sauce and tamarind and gently heat until the sugar is well dissolved. Raise the heat and cook the sauce rapidly, stirring constantly until it thickens and darkens a little. Taste (being very careful not to burn your mouth because I always do), and add more tamarind, fish sauce, or sugar as required. It should be sour first, sweet and salty second. Turn off heat and cook fish.

In Thailand the fish is most definitely deep fried. If you are looking to reduce the oil you can shallow fry it, but you need to cook it quite a long time to get the outside really crisp. The outside should be quite hard. Drain and pat well with paper towel.

Spoon warm sauce over fish and serve scattered with coriander leaves. Scoff liberally.

knit

2011-03-12T15:00:00.004+11:00

All this food, you'd think I did nothing but cook! But while the obsession with food has indeed been well indulged of late (and I have a queue of posts to prove it), I've also, at last, managed to squeeze in some time to get the knitting machine out.

First up, class homework. While the projects were not of my choosing, the discipline of working through someone else's instructions has been good for me. It has, in fact, totally fired me up into obsessive mode once again after what seems like a stupidly long hiatus. Every time I get going I feel like brilliance is so close I can almost touch it.

I mean check out these kokeshi dolls!

I have to say, the presence of some study buddies in Maria and Jules has helped a lot, not just in keeping me on the straight and narrow, but in actively problem solving and in learning from mistakes (theirs as well as mine).

I'm pretty happy with my face washer, especially because my last attempt at knitting with cotton was a total disaster and very demoralising. I'm keen to try the shopping bag our teacher Angela flashed in front of us at our last lesson - it was quite lightweight and super stretchy and looked like a pretty good replacement for green bags.

And while a knitted coat hanger cover was never on my to do list, I am kind of happy to say I've made one. The multiple rows of slip stitch have created a super squishy 3D fabric that would in fact be ideal for protecting a delicate garment. Who knew there was reason behind the dagginess?

I am really looking forward to being dragged into further depths of who knewness as the lessons progress!

In the spirit of learning, and compelled by a vision of the ideal birthday gift for my brother, I pulled out the shiny new ribber and armed only with the manual and my bravado I set to.

What followed amounted to several hours of frustration and a lot of wasted yarn - a lot of complaint about dumb machines and a gentle reminder to myself that perfect first time is an unrealistic expectation.

Cue more swearing and unhappiness, a cup of tea and deep breath and another attempt.

And just like magic everything worked. I was very very pleased with this simple ribbed scarf - two strands of charcoal and one of black merino creating a soft and subtle texture.

And for all my complaint a little reflection that I went from no idea to finished object in less than a day and who can complain about that?

I even managed to salvage one of the larger failed pieces, picking up the live stitches on a knitting needle and casting off to make a wide short scarf that will be lovely in winter.

And I am excited beyond measure about progress on the Harvest Moon Cardi. I have only a wee bit of the last sleeve to go and a bit of stitching to put the pocket fronts in and it's done. It's not blocked of course, but the fit looks pretty spot on.

All up it has been a very satisfying knit - quick and interesting, with quite a few little techniques new to me, but nothing too overwhelming or requiring extended concentration. A really well written pattern, with great support from the designer. And of course, a really stunning yarn that is wonderful to knit - springy and soft and highly cooperative. I am dying to get it finished so I can ~~show it off~~ wear it.

I've also cast on (twice now) for Wil's much requested rainbow hoodie. Despite it being everything he wants, despite it being deliciously soft yarn in awesome colours, and using up single balls from the stash too, and despite it being a long time favourite pattern, I am really struggling to enjoy this project. The colours are Just. Too. Much. So much so that I may yet have to work some voodoo on Wil to get him to change his mind about something in it, or better still abandon it altogether.

som tum

2011-03-11T10:19:00.000+11:00

[I am posting this recipe earlier than I had planned so I don't yet have photos - I will come back and add them next time I make this dish. In the mean time you can go look at this search in Flickr for some other people's photos.]

Som tum (green papaya salad) is one of my favourite salads. It is crunchy and crisp and salty and sour and full of stuff that's good for you, and not much stuff that isn't. In Thailand it is traditionally served with sticky rice and gai yang (grilled chicken) or laab in the Isaan region and in Lao, but nowadays can be found all over Thailand from specialist som tum hawkers at lunch time. I ate it a lot when we lived there. A lot.

Som tum (or tam is it is sometimes translated) is made in a large, tall mortar and pestle with deft skill. The papaya is held in one hand and then cut into very fine matchsticks using repeated blows of a large machete like knife (I've tried doing it and while I escaped injury, I can tell you, I certainly didn't achieve the desired effect!!). The papaya and other ingredients are then lightly pounded to mix the flavours and break up any fibrous bits in the papaya. The heat from the chili is controlled by the degree of pounding - the more the chili is broken up the hotter the salad will be. I don't have a large mortar and pestle so I tend to grate the papaya, and just add the flavourings to the mortar and pestle and mix it together in the bowl.

There are variations on the basic dish which can include the addition of fresh cooked prawns or crab, and a very bland version where the dried prawns are excluded, though I think this last is generally for the benefit of foreigners with a dislike for strong flavour and usually means they leave out most or all of the chili too.

A green papaya is an under ripe version of the fruit we generally call paw paw here - not a little under ripe either. Although my Thai friend says it should be a little yellow to be best do not think you can buy a regular papaya from the grocer that just isn't fully ripe. Source a proper hard green papaya from the Asian grocer and leave it on the window sill for a day or two.

Again, in Thailand this dish is generally served pretty spicy and diluted with lots of rice.

Som Tum (green papaya salad)
1.5 cups of peeled, seeded and grated green papaya (about half a smallish one or a quarter of a big one)
8 cherry tomatoes, quartered or a whole tomato cut into chunks
2 whole cloves of garlic peeled
1 tbs dried shrimp
4 snake beans* cut into 3cm sticks
2 tbs salted peanuts
1 lime, juiced
1.5 tbs palm sugar
1.5 tbs fish sauce
2 small red chilies

Put the grated papaya and tomato into a bowl. In the mortar and pestle pound the garlic and shrimp into it is broken up but not mushy. Add the beans and peanuts and pound a bit more. Add the sugar, fish sauce and lime - starting with about two thirds the amounts. mix well. Add the chilies and pound - just once or twice for a mild flavour, harder for more heat. Tip the mix into the bowl and stir to combine. Taste and top up sugar, lime and fish sauce to balance.

*you can use green beans, but they are not the same at all. Green beans are shorter and much juicier, as well as tasting different. The drier pulpier texture of snake beans absorbs the flavours way better, especially with a little pounding in the mortar and pestle. And since you have to go to the Asian grocer to get the green papaya get some snake beans while you are there.

curry

2011-03-10T08:00:00.002+11:00

Even though Thai currys are well known and popular outside Thailand, not many people make them at home. But they are very easy and taste infinitely better than the bought versions. Trust me on this!

Curry comes in many forms, based on regional specialities and ethnic influences and available ingredients, and I'm going to start the curry recipes off with Masaman, a curry which grew out of the influence of Indian migrants in Thailand. I'm doing this one first because it is not spicy, making it a perfect family curry and a good intro to cooking them since you won't have to worry if you are making it too pet (chili hot).

Coconut milk based curry share much in the technique, as well as the serving principles in Thai cooking, so I'll refer back to this post when I cover other varieties.

Curry is designed to be eaten as part of a balanced banquet in the traditional Thai way. It tends to be quite rich and creamy and is often made with few or no vegetables - that's because curry is served with other dishes that provide the vegetable part of the diet. The Western habit of chucking all our food needs into a single bowl results in curry that is quite unlike the traditional Thai version. Personally I would rather a small serve of a delicious, intense, rich curry beside the larger serve of rice, wok tossed vegetables, crunchy salads and garnishes than the insipid mush I am often served here. But maybe that's just me.

When I first started cooking Thai curry I think the single biggest leap for me was to give up the fry off the garlic and onion and curry paste in oil step I had always used when making Indian style curry. In Thailand the aromatic paste is 'fried' (somewhat wetly) in heated coconut cream, and other ingredients are added to this liquid base, rather than browned off. While this may seem counter intuitive, it actually makes the whole process much quicker and adds to the delightfully piquant undertones of Thai curry.

A curry can be cooked in a wok or a good sized saucepan, depending on what else is happening on the stove top. It is important, particularly in the early stages of cooking, to keep stirring - coconut milk and cream burn easily and tastes yuk. And while I'm talking about coconut milk and cream let's share a few definitions.

First up there is something that comes out of the middle of a (young) coconut that you drink. It is not creamy or white and you don't cook with it. I'll call that coconut juice. Personally, I do not care for it.

The stuff you cook with is extracted from the white flesh of the mature coconut and is called cream or milk depending on the water content. The first pressing of the coconut flesh, in which no water or other agents have been added, yields coconut cream. It has a higher fat content, a lower water content and not surprisingly, the most flavour. In cooking it is often used early (where we might use a cooking oil) and then because heating changes the flavour of coconut cream and milk more may be added at the very end for flavour (where we might use butter to finish off a sauce or risotto). After the flesh has been pressed once, water is added to the fibre and a second pressing takes place, yielding coconut milk. The freshly extracted stuff sold in the markets all over Thailand (you can find the stall easy enough - there's a guy and a big machine and a pile of brown hairy coconut shells as big as a car) is as gloriously different from the tinned version as you can imagine, but realistically as unavailable to most of us as milk straight from the cow, and for pretty similar reasons.

In theory the distinction between cream and milk is clear (if the ingredients on the side of the can say 100% coconut, it's cream and if the ingredients say coconut and water, it's milk). In reality processing introduces other variables that make the distinction a bit fuzzy. My advice is to try different brands until you feel confident about the difference and then stick with one, and if you want milk when you have cream - just add water. My personal choice is ayam brand, although I think their milk is a little too creamy so I sometimes cut it down with water, or use another brand in concert.

Curry pastes can definitely be made at home if have the time to devote to this quite intensive task - I have done so many times. But for my money, it isn't worth the effort. Most things are better home made, but personally, I don't think I will eat enough curry in this lifetime to get really good at it, and when you can now very easily buy excellent quality ones for almost nothing, it seems foolhardy to bother. In terms of brands, I prefer Mae Ploy (and my Thai family agreed when they came to visit us and we shopped together). They sell small quantities too, with sachet versions, which are good for at least a couple of currys selling for less than a dollar at pretty much every Asian grocer around (and quite a few supermarkets too).

As with all Thai cooking, tasting and seasoning adjustments at the end are critical - start by adding less than the recommended amount and then taste, adjust, taste, adjust.

Also, on the topic of quantities, this curry would serve up to 8 people, as part of a banquet of dishes. If you are relying on the dish heavily (say just a curry, rice and a salad or veggies) it would feed more like 4 people. The balance between 'bits' (meat, veggies etc) and sauce is also variable - sometimes a curry is almost soup like with far more liquid and more milky than creamy, other times the flavour is more densely concentrated and the balance between liquid and solid more slanted to the solid. The latter form is more in keeping with my understanding what is traditional, the latter an adaptation for farang (foreigner) tastes, or possibly a way of keeping costs down and stretch meat and precious cream further.

Masaman Curry

300gms meat (chicken, beef, pork) sliced quite thinly

1 cup of coconut cream

1.5 cups of coconut milk

2 tbs masaman curry paste
1 small onion cut into large chunks
2 medium sized potatoes, cooked, skinned and cut into a large dice
1 tbs tamarind puree
2 tbs fish sauce
2.5 tbs palm sugar
1 cinnamon stick
2 bay leaves

4 whole cardamon pods

2 tbs salted peanuts

Heat the coconut cream to a simmer over a medium low heat until the oil begins to separate and forms glistening puddles on the surface. Don't rush this step or underestimate its importance.

Tip in the curry paste, slightly increase the heat and mix through, stirring all the time. Heat for 2 minutes.

Add the meat and stir through until the meat is almost cooked through. Add onion, potato, peanuts, cardamon, bay, cinnamon and coconut milk, bring to a simmer and heat for 5 or 10 minutes, or until meat is tender.

Just prior to serving add the tamarind, fish sauce and sugar. Adjust seasonings as required to achieve a balanced palate. If you want to you can carefully find and remove the cinnamon, bay leaves and cardamon.

rice

2011-03-08T16:17:00.003+11:00

It occurs to me I may be gotten things round the wrong way when I didn't start my posts about Thai cooking with a post about kao (rice). The devotion to rice is difficult for most of us of European extraction to understand - in modern day Australia in particular there are really no foods that occupy such a singularly central role.

So important is the role of rice that it works its way into everyday language expression - go to dinner (bai gin kao) is literally go eat rice. Emotions are subject to rice too - I'm so sad I couldn't eat sticky rice. When Thai farmers build a new dwelling they start with the rice house and then build their own dwelling. Rice is life.

While some Europeans rely very heavily for example on bread as part of a meal, there remain whole parts of the cuisine untouched by it. And while a slice or two may be considered an essential addition to the dinner table it does not occupy the lion's share of things when all is said and done.

Given that rice forms the largest part of most meals, it is important to cook it right. In most parts of Thailand Jasmine is the rice of choice - it is long grain and early harvested but unlike it's very popular cousin, Basmati, Jasmine is not aged before sale. Rice is sold in markets in Thailand graded by freshness and quality, with 'spring' rice being most highly valued.

Minimising the contact with water is the key to good rice - boiling it in loads of water is guaranteed to make a Thai recoil in horror. Apparently the very best Jasmine rice is steamed - though I only ever steam sticky rice (more on that below) and cook my Jasmine by the absorption method. This is how I was taught and this method has never failed me.

Steamed Jasmine Rice

1 cup of rice
1.5 cups of water

This is what I would use for 2 adults. This is generous by aussie standards, though the smaller the quantity of rice you make, the more wastage per person you get from the bits that stick to the bottom of the pan so I would say 2 cups would feed 5 adults.

Rice cooks best with an even heat and a well sealed lid so the heavier the post base and the tighter the lid, the better the result. I use a stainless steel saucepan, but an enamel cast iron pot is even better.

Put the rice and the water in the pot, put on the lid and put it on as high a heat as you can. As soon as the water starts to boil, turn the heat as low as you can*. Do not open the lid, do not stir, do not mess about with it. It should take about 10 minutes on the low heat, though the age of the rice will affect the timing.

After this time, take it off the heat, stir with a fork to fluff it up (NOT scraping any stuck bits off the bottom - leave them there because they are hard and not nice to eat) and test for doneness. If it's good replace the lid until time to serve. If a little underdone replace the lid and wait, the warmth of the rice and pot will keep the cooking going. If it is very underdone and very dry, add a little more boiling water, replace the lid and replace on low heat for a few more minutes.

* [You can also take it off the heat completely after boiling and let it sit for up to half an hour or so while you prepare the rest of the meal. When you are almost ready to eat, stir the rice well, add a dash more water if required and then put it onto a low heat to finish the cooking - usually only for a few minutes once up to heat]

Steamed Sticky Rice

Sticky rice is just about my most favourite form of rice. It's chewy and flavoursome and best of all, you eat it with your hands! It is the rice of the Isaan region of Thailand and Lao - it's the rice the poorer people eat. It is a different variety and is sometimes sold labelled as glutinous (rather than sticky) but isn't the same as the glutinous rice I have seen used elsewhere, which is short grain. Here is the packet of the brand I often get.

Because sticky rice is steamed, the ratio of water to rice isn't important and I never measure! I guess you would still use about a cup for 2 adults, or maybe less since it doesn't stick to the pot.

Soak the rice for at least a few hours (I usually do it overnight or for the day). Cook over steam for about 10 minutes - or less. Cooking time depends on soaking time, age of rice etc, but it can be quite quick. It shouldn't be at all crunchy, but it will still have texture.

I use this traditional sticky rice steamer which came home from Thailand with us. You can use any steamer, lined with cheesecloth or muslin.

thai

2011-03-07T16:10:00.065+11:00

It's no secret to regular readers that I am in love with all things Thai.

From the moment I arrived there for my first visit in 1989 (well, after I recovered from the shock of the heat) my interest in and adoration of all things Thai has only increased. This very blog grew out of our Thai sabbatical in 2005, and I still look back on our time living there as very happy indeed. Idyllic even.

So it's in that spirit that I've decided to start an occasional series on Thai food. I hope I can entice and encourage more people to try cooking or at least sampling dishes in restaurants, and spur myself on to perfect the dishes in my repertoire and add some new ones too. It really is a stunning cuisine in so many ways, and so much more than the standard curry and noodles that people tend to try here. Like any other country there are things you only ever see in people's homes, regional specialities and dishes which when prepared with care and fresh ingredients are a world away from the commonly seen fast food/restaurant versions.

I have been enjoying reading this in my spare time recently and learning more about some foods I have never cooked or had outside of Thailand and along with this and this, as well as the class cook book from my stints at the fabulous Thai cooking school I spent time at in Chiang Mai, I have a good selection of recipes. But of course the internet is, as always a complete gold mine and I often use this site and this one too for inspiration.

And there's nothing at all wrong with just launching into it - even badly prepared Thai food tastes pretty good! A lot of dishes are very forgiving, and to my palate the flavours and ingredients are so good I'm happy to try it any old way. So even though I might talk about about how it's traditionally done, or the challenge of really perfecting the flavour balance, a fear of getting it wrong shouldn't prevent anyone from having a go.

In fact with Thai food that should be the mantra. Thai food by its nature is responsive and adaptive - forget the science of baking or the precision techniques of fine dining. Recipes are a broad base from which to begin, but the pinnacle of taste is achieved by the subtle balancing of flavours that can only be done by tasting and adjusting and tasting again until the hot, sour, salty and sweet taste buds are all singing to the same tune. Since every chili packs its own degree of punch, every lime yields it's own quantity and sweetness of juice and every brand of fish sauce has a different amount of salt, the quantities in recipes can only ever be a guide. And your palate can only develop and improve by repeated tasting!

While on the topic of fiddling I wanted to put in a word about chili. Thai food is considered by many to be unmanageably pet (chili hot) but if you struggle with chili there's a few things to be said about it. Firstly, there are many really good dishes which use little or no chili, so if you seek them out you can gain an appreciation for the flavours of the cuisine without freaking yourself out. Secondly, your tolerance for heat from prik (chili) increases rapidly with exposure so if you build up from mai pet (no chili) to pet nit noi (a little chili) by the time you get to some of the more challenging dishes you should be well ready. Chili also comes in many forms - fresh, dried, roasted, ground, in pastes and so on - and you may find some forms more tolerable than others. And its important to note that many of the really fiery dishes are designed to be eaten slowly and in small portions, well diluted with lots of kao (rice) and other less spicy fare.

But really critically I want to say that prik plays an important part in balancing flavour in Thai food as well as adding heat and if a dish uses chili you can't just take it out and expect the dish to taste the same minus the heat. I find a lot of Thai food in Australia tastes very sweet for example compared to what you eat in Thailand. I suspect this is less because aussie cooks use more sugar than it is because they use less chili and fish sauce - by reducing the heat and or saltiness the sweetness becomes more pronounced. To reduce the heat and maintain balance, the other ingredients need to be reduced too, but in reducing the sources of flavourings, the overall intensity of flavour will be reduced too, so the more of the chili you can tolerate, the more delicious a dish will be.

That's enough theory for now. Lets get to some recipes - starting with what I had for dinner last night.

Laab (or larb or laarb depending on translation)

This is a real favourite at the moment (especially now that my 8 year old daughter has decided a bit of chili is worth it for flavour) - it is easy, uses readily available ingredients and since the chili is added late in the piece the heat can be easily modified. Traditionally this is served with a lot of heat and made from moo (pork), though gai (chicken) is also widely used. While it is quite meaty, the taste is fresh and light, classifying it more as a salad or accompaniment than main dish. It comes from the Isaan region of Thailand and neighbouring Lao where it can be expected to be served with kao neuw (sticky rice) and som tum, with extra coriander, mint and toasted rice scattered over the top.

300gms minced pork or chicken
2-4 limes
1 small red shallot, finely sliced
2 spring onions, finely sliced.
half a bunch of coriander, roughly chopped
4 or 5 sprigs of mint, roughly chopped
2-3 tbs fish sauce
1-2 tbs uncooked jasmine rice for toasting
1/2 tbs dried chili flakes

Start by toasting the rice. In a dry non stick fry pan or wok toss the rice over a medium heat until browned all over. It should smell vaguely nutty. Coarsely grind the rice in some electric gadget or a mortal and pestle.

Sprinkle a tablespoon or so of lime juice over the raw mince and let stand for 5 or so minutes, then toss into a hot non stick fry pan without any oil. Stir the meat until well cooked and quite dry then place in a bowl big enough to hold all ingredients.

Toss in the other ingredients - starting with about two thirds of the recommended amounts of seasonings (herbs, chili, fish sauce and lime) - stir well and taste. Now try adding small additions of each of the remaining flavourings until you reach a good balance. You may need proportions quite different to the recipe - that's OK! Exercise the most caution around the fish sauce - it is very hard to balance out too much salt with other things so add it in small amounts and taste often.

The finished dish should really zing in your mouth, be fresh and light and acidic, you should not be tasting the meat (if you are the overall flavour intensity too low), nor should it taste too salty. If you are really looking to learn about the flavours, divide your mix into two bowls at the start and add different amounts to each to see what effect the seasonings have.

Let me know how you go - I assure you, you won't be dissappointed!

home

2011-03-05T11:05:00.000+11:00

The bloke made it back. Uncharacteristically he bought presents.

The kids were delighted beyond measure.

While he was away I caught up with a dear friend who now lives too far away, in a place without decent fabric. You know what follows (I mean, aside from the obvious talk fest and squealing). And after the run of stuff I made up at the last craft camp I only felt moderately guilty about a bit of stash enhancement.

In typically counter intuitive fashion the very best time to be buying swimwear fabric is the beginning of autumn.

And since the entire family is in need of new rash vests and togs I bought these gorgeous Sea Folly fabrics from the current range from Rathdowne Remnants.

I also went sick on jersey at Clear It.

Nearly all of these are Alannah Hill cast offs and super cheap. It seems I can never have enough nice jersey for the bottomless needs of myself and the smalls for T-shirts, leggings and Pjs - not to mention my current obsession with the Drape Drape books and their concepts. Even so, that's quite a bit of jersey and should keep me going for, um, a while.

I saved the best till last, taking my friend to Tessuti, where I picked up a great remnant of denim and this gorgeous stripe stretch woven, destined for another pair of work pants identical to the ones I made at craft camp. While she hyperventilated.

These poor provincial folk can be dazzled by our sophisticated urban ways. I had to leave her there with her pile of bolts and tape measure when my time ran out but I will just say she was going to have some excess baggage charges and made me look positively restrained.

And all this got me thinking - well more accurately, the packing of all said stash away got me thinking - that really, I would do well to stop enhancing the stash. Not because I am loaded up with buyers remorse and stacks of fabric and yarn I will never use, but because, well, I have a complete crap load of stuff I want to make RIGHT NOW and sometimes the sheer number of exciting projects awaiting me freaks me right out enough to scare me out of my work space. And of course, the work space is somewhat compromised by the piles of said stash, thus requiring significant clean up as a precursor to making and thus much less making all round.

My main problem is that speculative stash enhancement is, in my view, a significantly less expensive way to fuel large scale making than project based purchasing. It costs less (think remnants, sales, destashes and the like) but is also more time efficient, since I very rarely devote time to shopping for stash and tend to buy stuff when it naturally appears in the course of daily life. When I am teaching at Tessuti, when I am ferrying visitors from out of town, when I have time to kill, when I happen to be going by. I do not wish to turn into a project based shopper, even though I know I would have less stash to house I really can't stand that kind of pressure to find the right thing right now. And I claim I have just the kind of stuff in the stash I use all the time to meet the family's basic needs, and the occasional foray into just because I can.

It's been about 18 months since I stopped buying clothes for us, and in that time I've only lapsed 3 times. I bought a pair of designer jeans reduced from something like $300 to $50, a t-shirt I bought for PJ wear for $5 (because I was tired and grumpy and it was right beside the check out) and a wrap cardi thing because I wanted to play with the design and it was $4.15 (?! Capitalism just blows my mind sometimes). And in that time I have made multiple pairs of jeans, leggings, t-shirts, jumpers, winter coats, bathers, shirts, dresses, skirts, shorts, jackets, wraps, bags, socks, dressing gowns, bed linen, hats, mitts, scarves, stoles and no doubt other stuff I can't remember right now.

So looking around the stash I am wondering - how long could I go before I really had to buy more? If I consciously made the decision not to get distracted by the next big shiny thing (reminding myself there will always be new shiny things) and resisted the urge to buy all the bargains I found (leave them for someone else!), how long would it be before I said, but I really NEED something? I'm not talking zips or thread or elastic or interfacing or dye, but actual yardage of fabric or yarn, bought by me for cash (birthday presents, gift certificates, donations etc wouldn't count).

How long?

exhausted

2011-03-01T21:05:00.000+11:00

hazy

2011-02-19T13:16:00.000+11:00

It's been an odd kind of week, with all manner of unexpected occurrences. I've had a persistent yet elusive virus too - making me feel crappy and stupid without really getting specific enough to fight. I've missed 2 days of work on the doc's orders but it hasn't really helped.

There's been some heavy yarn traffic through these doors, and not all of it inward. Firstly the booty from the sad demise of the Yarn Workshop. I know Ingrid isn't sad about it - she's moving on to bigger and better things and about this I am very happy, but I'll remain sad for a while. At least I will be when the yarn stores start to dwindle. 15kg came to my door in a large box and I was very restrained in keeping only 5 or so (a couple of which may yet find themselves drifting off elsewhere).

The yesterday I followed up a tip about a forthcoming garage sale just a few doors away from Wil's childcare - that's fate right? And I picked up a good haul of cone ends of exciting Avril yarns. Not enough of anything for get something made, but it's a great opportunity to try out things with an eye to future projects. I also picked up a couple of other bits to add to the stash and a wonderful lot of local cormo wool which I stroked but then passed along to someone else I feel may be in need of the stash more than I (and more importantly, likely to get it knit sometime before old age sets in).

One of the oddments was a good size skein of thick thin undyed plain plied wool (bottom left in the photo above), and although it isn't super soft, the texture is super appealing.

I immediately set to dyeing, feeling like the whole thing reminded of ocean scenes and wrinkly seaweed. The first paint of colours came out altogether too bright and turquoise like for me - although the colour variations were really lovely and complex - so I redipped it in weak black to tone the whole thing down.

Was it the right thing to do? I don't know - I love the deepness now, the subtlty, but I fear some of the diversity has been lost. What do you think?

anticipating

2011-02-13T18:31:00.002+11:00

The day the tomatoes will ripen in number

The tears that will be shed when the small pieces get lost or broken

The dinner I can already smell (lamb roasting over sprouts)

A cozy winter and a crafty future (she made them herself!)

Eating the two apples that are on the tree this year

A beautiful finished garment

A lot of sewing up

More sticky rice

Also a few more pattern sales, now that I have finally set up a spot here on the blog where you can buy my various patterns direct from me - see the link over there up the top of the side bar? I haven't got an automated buy from me button, mostly because Paypal has pissed me off so mightily in the last week that I can't bear to actively throw business their way (though if course you can pay via paypal if you want). I decided to create the buy my patterns page here because I have been getting the odd enquiry from people wanting to buy them who don't use ravelry or who don't want to buy a sewing pattern in a kit form. So the knitting patterns are PDFs and the sewing patterns can be bought in either printed form or as PDFs which then need to printed out at a print shop.

for

2011-02-11T20:50:00.000+11:00

for the way you say thank you! and good job mum!

for the way you like to hold my hand when you are going off to sleep.

for the way you can spot a car in any place, no matter how small or invisible it may be to other people.

for the way you make me laugh and laugh.

for the future I can't begin to imagine, but which unfolds before me everyday, without warning, without my permission.

Can it really be only four years you've been here? I can't remember a time you weren't around, can't imagine what I did for entertainment or how I ever understood such simple, straight forward joy.

I love you like life my little man. Happy birthday.

thinking

2011-02-06T14:50:00.000+11:00

It occurs to me that it has been a long time since I posted anything here aside from eye candy. I'm not entirely sure why that is - a lot of busyness doesn't help, but also sometimes the things I'm thinking a lot about have implications for other people and it's hard to feel like I can really talk about them here without breaching confidences, or privacy or just plain being misunderstood.

Or, as in the case of work, breaching my employment contract. That one is a real shame because I am aware all too often at work that I get an 'insider's' look at how democratic government and Westminster bureaucracy works and in a land of compulsory voting we would all do better if we knew a little more about that. It can be tiring to hear people slag off politicians, vote them in with ridiculously high expectations of what they can achieve, feel really angry that they don't manage to achieve more and then blame them personally for everything that's wrong in their lives (especially when said people have not much idea about how all the stuff that does get done, gets done).

The world abounds in examples of countries where government has failed to achieve one tenth of what ours do and maybe if people understood a little more of what it takes to make stuff work they would be a little less critical and a little more helpful. Or at least save their criticism for the times and places where they are really warranted. And the media could focus on reporting serious shit instead of stuff that really is of no importance.

And if all this sounds a little banal it's only because I am not in a position to be specific and it's like trying to make a case with one tongue tied behind my back. I can't tell you how annoying it is.

I've also been thinking a lot about parenting and about reasonable expectations to place on kids, and on parents, and about confusing my own selfish desires with a well thought out position on independence. I am not a mollycoddler, I do not want to keep my kids young or cocoon them. I think challenging kids to develop and become independent is a critical part of parenting and an enormous advantage throughout life. It was how I was raised and I am very glad it was. I was taught to take risks, but to think about and be strategic in doing so.

But like all other views of parenting, it can take a battering when things are under pressure. As Wil has entered his 'afraid of the dark' phase I am torn between pushing him to confront and overcome his irrational fears (especially when at least some of the time I am pretty sure there's less fear and more manipulation involved) and wanting to protect him and comfort him.

Now don't jump to conclusions - these things are not black and white and I'm not mean about it (he has lights on outside his room and a night light and cuddles and I lie down with him if he's really agitated - sometimes all the way until he is asleep), but constantly trying to gauge where to be on that grey scale has been messing with my head.

And quite possibly more so because I have been doing a bit of the old switcheroo between solo parenting and co parenting. When I am alone quite a few of the goal posts shift, in part because I don't have to negotiate with another adult for consistency and philosophy but also because my capacity and will is more fundamentally stretched.

Parenting is a pragmatic exercise - quite aside from what we believe there is what we are able to do - but when I am moving from solo to co parenting this is in such high relief that I feel awash with the way all this slips from my grasp. The result is of course that so very much of the time I feel like I am doing everything badly. When I find myself alone and taking the shortcuts I inevitably must I feel bad for how this impacts my kids.

But then suddenly I have someone looking over my shoulder who is wondering why I'm taking those short cuts, why I'm not doing things the way they've always been done. And then, well, then I feel even worse. It's no comment on the bloke - it's a natural consequence of adjustment - but none the less I find myself full of doubt. The bottom line is no matter how things run I find going from being in charge, accountable and responsible for everything 24 hours a day to being in a partnership with ambiguous divisions of labour and expectations way harder than I like, and that I don't find it easier over time I find disappointing and a little alarming.

I am also unnaturally attuned to the enormous diversity that surrounds me - the parents who don't let their kids out of their sight and those who free range, those who show a bit of tough love, those who value attachment and peace above all else, those working the flash cards with their preschoolers, those letting their kids lead the learning process, those who spend at least a few nights a week away from their kids to pursue their own lives and those who have never had a babysitter in the house.

And while diversity doesn't have to be division (because being different doesn't have to mean being judged), when I am feeling less certain everyone else seems so much more coherent. Like I'm on some kind of wiggly ride while everyone else is down on the board walk. Is that a good thing? For me? For the kids? Can they be separated? Can I ever know?

dyeing

2011-01-28T10:09:00.000+11:00

I've been playing with dyes, using up scraps I bought for $4 a kilo from the Bendigo Mills back room. An assortment of weights, quite a few of them 'unbalanced singles' according to those who know what such a term means. This year I hope to get a bit more creative with my dyeing.

I've also cast on for Harvest Moon. Many thanks for the comments and suggestions, especially those who, er, didn't pull any punches. It's been said before my taste is dubious and now I know for sure! Anyway, the Harvest moon pattern is amazing. Even from the very early stages it's obvious Heidi really knows her stuff - the construction is well thought out, neat and very clever without being difficult. It's greatly enthusing me to knit the Space Girl too (despite your dire warnings).

And the Elsa wool is every bit the delight I thought it would be - rustic and sheepy but super soft and smooshy, quite unlike anything I have knit before. I've been hankering for this wool ever since I saw Alex use it last year and when the Aussie dollar peaked against the US I bought enough for a jumper, plus a little of the lighter weight for something else down the track.

I've also been sorting out my machine knit suite - I bought a new slightly better machine on ebay to replace my Singer 321 which has been passed on to my good friend Maria (blog pending - c'mon Maria!). With a good work over and some spare parts from the wonderful Angela I'm very happy. Between this punchcard machine and my simplistic vintage 200d I have 2 really good work horse machines. I recently acquired another kind of machine - a rare Singer Junior Knitter which I bought as much for the oddity value as anything else - and Amy is dead keen to make it hers. I've yet to give it much of a run, but it is a teeny tiny cutie and may serve me well as a handy go anywhere small project machine. I will report!

I've also organised a course of lessons to move my skill acquisition from random experimentation to systematic experience with the hope it will help me realise some of the garments dancing in my head. I'm really looking forward to some structure now that I feel like I have a grasp of the machines themselves. I think back to how I was in the first few weeks of machining where I felt like I had absolutely no idea at all, stumbling in the dark trying to work out what the hell was going on. Now I am definitely past that stage but still held back by big chunks of missing expertise. The clases are well spaced over a six month period, so I should be regularly posting here about the exciting new things I've learned.

So as you can see, it's been all about yarn of late. With the kids still on holidays and general family chaos, it's been hard to think bigger. I've also decided that for the coming craft camp I want to be more organised than I generally am, so I'm going to start stockpiling projects, using the time between now and then to sort and maybe cut some projects to sew while I am away. I'm car pooling this time and need to be disciplined about space, but I also want to be able to just pull out some stuff I've already done the think work for. At least, that's the plan.

review

2011-01-21T08:28:00.000+11:00

So I said I'd share and now I am. This is the highlights of the summer sewing.

A final edit on the sack dress I refashioned the year before last. I'd never been happy with the existing neck, it had really awful machine embroidery in orange and a heavy facing that really weighed the top haft of the dress down. It also had a zip down the back which really wasn't needed, so I took it out, cut off the facings and added a light cotton twisted neck (a la ms assemblage).

I made this very heavy weight silk top a long time ago and in my suit wearing days it got a lot of use in the winter. But like lots of things I made ages ago, the shoulders were not exactly right, and because I'm holding up the camera they still don't look right but trust me, they are! I added two pin tucks on either shoulder sloping down to the centre front and back and can I say for a 5 minute sewing job this has really been transformative. Not only is the fit improved but it is more interesting and the faux v neck that results breaks up my expansive bust line in a flattering sort of way.

I started this shirt back at craft camp, but it sat unfinished for over a month (not like me at all!). The photo isn't great - I do need to get the camera remote thing happening don't I?? - but I really like this shirt a lot. It is made from a fairly lightweight linen elastine, which is my favourite fibre combination right now. The dart placement is unusual (and excellent) and taken from a vintage pattern Michelle lent me. Her pattern was for a dress and it didn't have a front opening, so my shirt doesn't much resemble the original! I love the sleeve bindings (I'm not a cuff fan) and the front zip, but it is the collar I really love.

Next I made this hot day dress - a trade off between comfort and sackyness. I used the blue/grey mottled jersey I got from the opshop (I figure this dress cost about $0.80) to try out something loosely based on an Ottobre pattern that didn't come in my size. The result is fantastic, I was super pleased and then promptly spilt mayo all down the front of it. Luckily I was all ready to make a second version anyway.

In version 2, made with a shot black/red linen, I added an extra seam so I could pop some pockets in. I love this one too, though I think the jersey one is a little more flattering, this one is definitely more stylish. A couple of times I've worn it over leggings or pants and it feels great.

I finally made this drape drape top for myself - having already made it for someone else and simply dismissed the possibility of getting that itty bitty size to fit me. But hey, those voluminous styles are clearly adaptable! This one is made of a gauzy grey cotton knit and it's getting a bit of use these days over grotty T-shirts.

This top is made with a Jalie pattern from a heavy weight cotton elastine jersey. I picked it up as a remnant (Tessuti?) and then dyed it this colour. This will be a great one in winter, the fit is pretty good and I'd be keen to make one or two more, slightly altered. It shows up that I did all my sewing without the use of an ironing board and with a very rudimentary 30+ year old iron!

Another reno on an existing top. This knit had saggy shoulders and no shape - I unpicked the sleeve seams, raised the shoulders and shaped the side seams. Once it's ironed (!) it should be good.

I started renovating this shirt in the great turnover of 2009 but I didn't finish! I raised the shoulders, shortened the sleeves and hem, added darts all over the place and out of sheer frustration sewed the front opening closed. The soft fabric combined with stretched out button holes meant it kept coming open is a very not good way. It ended up being quite a bit over work over the two sessions of altering, but I really love the collar on this one so I'm glad I persisted.

I also did a pile of other entirely uninteresting hems and repairs that are not at all photo worthy.

Although I didn't knit much there are a few catch up items here.

I finally photographed the kimono cardi I knitted on the machine at last craft camp. This time I used a heavier yarn and it's much less drapey and soft than the first version, but also much warmer. I love the dye job (not too clear in this pic I'm sorry) which has a perfect level of variation and no pooling. And heck, not bad for something that took a day to make!

This wrap is currently in very heavy rotation. It is the largest I've made, using a silk/wool lace weight combined with an alpaca laceweight. It is soft, warm and the perfect size. I borrowed a friend's card 232 and man, I really like the stitch (a kind of mock seed or moss stitch) so I will be haunting ebay for my own copy!

I also finally finished the socks of doom and I'm still too traumatised to speak of it.

indecision

2011-01-13T12:42:00.000+11:00

I am paralysed and really need some direction. But feel a very strong compulsion to cast on RIGHT NOW.
Harvest moon?A cardi I am sure I would wear a lot, though some people's versions get the balance between the collar and body pretty wrong. 18 st/25 rows 1475m - I could use my lovely sheepy Elsa Wool.
Lambs lace cardi?A vest type arrangement for putting over a long sleeve T-shirt looks to be fairly risk free?18 st/20 rows 900m - I could use some soft Malabrigo in grey or a striped Rowan cashsoft but I would need to upsize the pattern and might run short on yarn.
Grapevine? Would I wear this? I like the pattern, but it looks more like it is intended to wear on it's own as a top and I just don't wear wool that way - could I use it as a jumper? 22st/30 rows 1400m - I could knit it in some merino/cashmere I have in grey.
Summer solstice? A cardi for throwing over the top of other things with an interesting construction, but perhaps too plain and unflattering? 21st/28 rows 1350 - in the merino above or some multi stripe version in Willabaa.
Space girl? I just love this jumper! But lots of knitters have gotten the collar wrong and that wide sleeve rib might have a seriously and unwelcome widening effect on me. D also lobbied quite hard for changing the v-neck to a round neck and this might prove a bit tricky. At 20 st gauge I would almost certainly have to muck about with combining two finer yarns or buy something entirely new, or do some major maths to get it to fit a stashed yarn
Kerrera? A fairly major undertaking but a very nice hoodie.
Liesl? I've been meaning to do this one for ages and the yarn possibilities are pretty wide.
Amelia? Looks pretty darn good too.

And really that's just the start! Feel free to give some opinions and/or suggest others (preferably in 18st gauge since I really feel drawn to the elsa wool). I await your advice.

in droughts and flooding rains

2011-01-13T10:14:00.000+11:00

There's no words for the kind of horrific scenes we are seeing in Queensland right now. There are lots of others who are out there working incredibly hard though to make it real for peope and to galvanise support in all kinds of ways.

I've been madly bidding in a range of auctions that are fundraisers, the whole shebang has been organised by Toni from Make it Perfect and I highly recommend you get on this bandwagon for those who donate money to The Premiers Flood Relief Appeal. Donate and maybe win something too (personally I am BUSTING to get Jodie's items, so thankfully there's plenty of other stuff YOU could like and please don't bid there).

like looking in a mirror, only better

2011-01-10T13:24:00.002+11:00

I was reading a forum on Ravelry about choosing projects to suit your body. I loved the idea that people on Ravelry were working together to learn from each other's mistakes and successes in such a finely tuned way. Beyond how well a pattern is written, or how cute the design. Beyond even how well this works in a size 18 or for an hourglass figure. This is about finding other people who are exactly like you in size and shape. Seeing how knitted stuff looks on them, not just the gorgeous model on the pattern cover.

In one of the discussion threads I found this link My Body Gallery - What Real Women Look Like. On the surface it's a great resource for getting some images in your own mind about people who are about your own size and shape, or some other size and shape if you are making things for other people.

But after cruising the images for a while I noticed all the text on the page. This is a site about much more than finding your twin, it's also about research that indicates that a really alarming number of women of all sizes and shapes do not really see themselves when they look in the mirror. While we might be able to accurately size up a box, or maybe even another person, our perception of size in relation to ourselves is overwhelmed by what we believe about ourselves. When we look in the mirror we almost certainly don't see ourselves really accurately and we're quite possibly inflating ourselves by quite a bit.

So go visit and look, and while you are there why not upload your own anonymous images to help build the library up.