Anyway, in the absence of insight, wit and reason I'll chuck you a bone in the shape of some knitting.
A very sweet little cardigan knit in just 6 days using less than a skein of the lovely wool, bamboo and silk Ultimo yarn from the sadly defunct Yarn Workshop, dyed by me. There's a matching hat too - knit with just 20gms of yarn and not yet photographed. They'll both be heading over the sea just as soon as I hear that my wee niece has made her entrance. A lovely project and an exciting occassion!