Thursday, 6 May 2010

loop by loop



Another stitch. Like another meal and another morning shower and another going to bed. One foot in front of the other, life seems full of small gestures designed to keep things moving. Designed to impose order over deeper chaos and uncertainty.

Knitting is alive with metaphors. With promise. With the hope that with persistence and methodical application messes can be given order, wrongs righted, incoherent threads made into a whole.

It is providing structure even where there is no meaning and I suppose for this I should be grateful. Another stitch, another step closer, another moment passed in which the worst doesn't happen and the best is not forever lost.

Many thanks for the comments on my previous post - it adds a lot of warmth to the coldness of the times when people reach out (especially since the computer is mostly turned off and I am not reading blogs and cruising much). I want to make clear though that I don't write these kinds of posts for the purposes of garnering sympathetic comments. I'm not special, my hardships are entirely ordinary and I know it, but if I did not blog when I felt confused and sad, the rest of it would mean so much less. Or worse, so much worse, if you who read here were to think that somehow my life were free from either hardship or confusion, thereby fabricating some kind of crazy ideal. The truth is that often things are good, and happy, and make sense and other times they just aren't and don't. At the moment I am yelling out from down here in the pit, but I'm sure I'll find a way to start climbing out. It just might take a while.

12 comments:

peskypixies said...

I am also in pit so I know how you are feeling.
Propping you up gently...........

hugs

flamehair said...

Moving away from the blogging world for a while may be the best thing to do. When I do that I always fear the disconnection, as though I'll never get it back, but instead what I find is clarity. Best of luck in pushing through what sounds like a difficult time and finding some peace.

angelina said...

least the wind dont hit ya when you're in the pit::

Eleanor said...

Thinking of you and sending you my love!

E xxxx

Suzy said...

Hi there,
I'm thinking of you, and I hope things get brighter soon.
xx

Jodie said...

I'll make you a ladder, each step a different craft, one embroidered, one knitted and so on....

Look after yourself

blackbird said...

I think you've captured it perfectly and freely admit that I am not good at posting on what troubles me - leaving my readers, mostly, with the idea that my life is always rosy.
In truth, I, you, we, all have burdens and I never thought for a moment that you would write to garner sympathy. And yet I found myself thinking on you and hoping that your troubles were not anything worse than "ordinary."
I will continue to think of you as you see your way clear of the things that upset you - and I write this with the utmost of respect.

leslie said...

hope you are okay and that we do indeed get the chance to catch up this week. xox

eeloh said...

You're a gifted writer, Soozs.

I don't even think Margaret Atwood's recounting of the myth of Odysseus from the point of view of Penelope actually discussed what the act itself of weaving/ knitting might mean. (I doubt Atwood knits!) What you say at the top of this post sounds just like what Penelope would have been thinking.

Then there's your own odyssey alluded to in the previous post ...

t does wool said...

I am terribly behind.
your words touch deeply suzie...
peace

Leonie said...

Knitting works for me in the same fashion as this. The other thing that works for me to help slow the brain down and gain some perspective is swimming laps and focussing on counting to 4 over and over again. Gives my brain a chance to recover from all of the spinning it does some days.

Hope your life finds its balance again quickly.

le chat qui coud said...

beautiful!