Thursday, 30 October 2008

funny how poo always gets a reaction

More comments than I got when I announced the birth of my child.

To answer the questions on everyone's lips:

No acrobatics required, the window ledge is in fact a low one. At a toddler's arse height actually, and he just happened to be standing there. It could indeed have been way worse than it was, as many of you pointed out. There were no feet, hands, mouths or carpets involved and the consistency was, while not perfect, far firmer than it might have been. Thanks for all that you guys.

The contents of the (water filled) bath were an array of high absorbency women's sanitary products. Oh yes, the cost. And the way, once finished doing that absorbing job they do so well, they filled the rubbish bin with their ballooned soggy weight.

Yes, I took a photo, in the midst of it all. I agree Suse, I feel like a real bona fide blogger at last.

And no, I do not yet have a functional phone line. Well, I can make calls and I can now receive calls, but my phones can't actually ring yet. Because of course, it is always a great idea to divide this process of switching on a phone line into as many constituent parts as possible so you can allow the maximum possible delays in getting the fucker up and running.

So when the very kind and sympathetic lady said to me last night after yet another interminable stretch of time on the phone re-explaining my situation that it would be a good idea for me to call back tomorrow morning and find out the current status of my account I was compelled to ask her

exactly what it would take for nasty big phone provider X to get up of it's big fat backside and take responsibility for giving ME a call to let me know whether they had yet fixed up the fucking mess they had made that had so far sucked up at least an hour of every evening stretching as far back as living memory to the point where my children barely had time to converse with me between when I got home from work and when it was time for them to go to bed (and surely she could hear that toddler in the background screaming out mummymummymummy and me saying shhhh darling mummy's still on the phone, yes, again, and bleeding from the ears already and no, daddy isn't here he's in Thailand?) and by the way while those fabulously skilled technicians you employ are out trying to work out how to do their job properly would they please fix the automated menu system on the incoming faults line so I don't lose 15 minutes of each phone call being directed to the wrong department of their massive empire, clearly so large it stretches all the way to India, where I have been told each and every time I have called that I am with the wrong department and I should call the number I did in fact already dial and have to argue for another 5 minutes before they agree to transfer my call all the way back to Sydney?

and she said, yep, OK, how about I get someone to call you tomorrow? Say between 8 and 12? And we'll use your mobile because, you know, we can't be sure the phone will work.

Um, yeah.

and would you be surprised to hear it is 11.30 and no one has called? (edit: Oh lookie, the time expired and no one called!)

I will now sit down and document this whole sorry tale in infinite detail (you think I've been boring so far, I guarantee I will beat these guys into submission with detail) and send it off to their complaints department AND the Ombudsman's Office (thanks for the tip Suzy) and make sure that I do my bit to swell their poor performance stats.

Or perhaps I should just package up one of Wil's little turds and post it off since they seem to get such a reaction.

Sheesh I am tired.


Jodie said...

If i had put up with all that crap - I'd be in a turd-posting mood too.

frog said...

Here's one vote for posting the turd!

shula said...

Oh send the poo, for sure.

About the only thing I can think of guaranteed to get a response.

Judy said...

I was *Red Faced* with my comment. How did I not know what the floating shiny pretty things were in the tub.

melindatrees said...

definately post poo.

trasha said...

Save yourself the trip to the P.O. - just email them a picture instead!

I thought of you yesterday, we were walking the dogs in a local woods, oohing and aahing over the autumn colour when I noticed my older dog was at a weird angle.

Both of them have always had to poo uphill for some reason but this was fabulous. When he walked away there was a perfectly formed dog poo ON TOP of a tree stump.

I toyed with the idea of taking a pic but CK was with me but he hasn't quite got a blogger mentality and I didn't fancy explaining my thought processes;-)

Hoping your threat of the Ombudsman produces the desired results.

trasha said...

Btw I would have commented heaps on the birthin' of a baby had I been introduced to you then. Promise.

Katy said...

post the turd. In fact post a whole family of turds, that'll get their attention ;)

angelasavage said...

My god, Sooz, what a hilarious couple of posts. I laughed so loud at the internet cafe, I think I scared a few customers away.

Yes, you should definitely contact the Ombudsman. And if you don't get no satisfaction, consider the Consumer Law Centre of Victoria, too. Good luck!