The ever thoughtful Jane did a post a while back about gestation that I really loved. Perhaps in part it is because I am nearing the end of this second and momentous pregnancy that I am thinking so clearly in these terms, but Jane's post really chrystallised for me some of the stuff about process that offsets my usual focus on outcomes.
My life is full to the brim with projects not yet fully developed, teetering on the edge of life outside the womb. Sometimes they are flawed from the inception and you need to find a way to let them go with honour and reverence and acceptance, like we did last March when our second pregnancy ended in miscarriage.
And like real life and birth, you just can't hurry the gestation along or you end with the equivalent of my mother's first birthing experience - a premature induction that saw her spend 36 hours in stirrups. Ouch. Or a project doomed by the visitation of the mozz. It's not my forte to be patient, I tend to want to rush to outcomes, but I'm getting better at it as I get older.
But letting things take their time can be painful too, as anyone who has waited out an overdue baby can tell you. My little sewing space is so overcrowded with fabulous ideas that sometimes I can't even move, let alone find the space to create. There are days when in my haste I'll embark on something I know is bound for disaster, just to take it off the books and get it out of the way.
The whole thing is so much worse because, to be frank, I'm very good at conception. I'm a first time every time kind of girl. When it comes to sewing and craft I can spot materials with potential from a mile away - I can draw you a map of the fabric districts of several major cities right down to the placement of the serving counters in dozens of my favourite shops. I store patterns and books and projects by the hundred, I have sketch books and tools at the ready.
I'm not quite so good on the follow through. I'm not being self-depreciating here, I know I produce a fair volume of work and a good deal of it meets my standards, but believe me when I say it isn't close to the scale of projects lined up and waiting. It is very crowded in here let me tell. And as I get closer and closer to the arrival of this baby I am wresting a rather compelling desire to wipe the slate and make way in that birth canal.
When we were in Thailand one of the many projects I conceived was this muslin blanket. I kept spying these wonderful soft light cottons made from double layer muslin that I imagined in a very simple pojagi style patchwork as a little blanket for wrapping a summer baby or draping over the pusher to keep the sun off a sleeper. And although blue is not my favourite colour, these ones were all so Thai and well coordinated that I started to collect them.
So yesterday I finally got my shit together and put them all together for my about to arrive summer babe. While the gestation period for this project can be recorded as close to 18 months, it was a very quick and painless birth. I did traditional closed Pojagi seams, so there is no right or wrong side and bound the entire blanket with straight cut binding made from another piece of two layer muslin. It has that slightly wonky home made look I always get when I work with muslin, but I'm very pleased. I suspect it will wear out before it loses it's charm, but I'm OK with that too.