Friday, 25 August 2006

back on the horse

Here's a little stack of 2 ply from the lovely Marta's Yarns. I'm going to knit it up double strand to make my first ever baby item in 4ply.

I loved the colours in the variegated yarn but was a bit concerned it might be on the dark side, so the pale green and grey should lighten it up a bit. I have a couple of patterns in mind, but you'll just have to wait and see where it ends up.

Meanwhile back here at winter germ central Amy has just burst an ear drum. Our dim dark days of the past were pre-blog, so you've all been spared the blow by blow details of our struggles with Amy's ears.

For eighteen months now we've been free of the black shadow of constant ear infections and their complications. Amy was only nine months old when she landed in hospital with life-threatening septicaemia from an ear infection gone bad and in the following year she had three operations and countless courses of antibiotics.

There were more sleepless nights than peaceful ones and more visits to the doctor than is fair for a little girl rapidly learning that anyone in the medical profession was likely to be causing her pain. It's still a trial to get her to the doctor's (last time I had to promise her that if the doctor gave her a needle I'd buy her a horse), she won't let anyone put her anywhere near a bandaid and she instructs the chemist on which flavour of amoxil syrup she finds acceptable.

So the night before last when she told us her ears were sore I was instantly thrown back to that time when a routine childhood illness could turn into a serious medical crisis in 24 hours, and regularly did. When I held her in my arms in a hospital chair for three days while she sweated out a fever of 41 degrees and we hoped like hell the antibiotics that were in that plastic bag attached to her drip needle would finally start to work.

And when she got out of bed this morning and asked why is all my hair stuck to the side of my head? I knew the better part of this morning would be spent sitting at the doctor's waiting to be seen (about 2 hours), to be told (1) she's got a high fever! (2) there's icky pus coming out of her ears! (3) she needs antibiotics! (4) she needs her hearing checked! So with drugs duly administered she's now sleeping and another round of appointments are penciled in.

I hate to see her suffer, to see the gallant way she struggles to be happy and energetic and the frustration she feels when her little body just can't deliver. The hot flushed cheeks she gets as she sits in the doctor's waiting room, the way she alternates between crying that she doesn't want to go to the doctor and telling me that you need to see the doctor when you're sick because that's how you get better. The way she plays with the toys and then comes over and crawls up on my lap and buries her head in my chest and says her ears hurt.

And at the same time my mind is doing endless resentful calculations about how we can bend our lives around this latest bump in the road. How many plans will need to be re-arranged, what needs to be cancelled, how D's and my work will be affected, whether Amy can make it to the pantomime she's booked to see tomorrow. How we'll manage another sleepless night. How easily I can say goodbye to the night out D and I were planning for this evening whilst Amy was staying with D's folks. How easily D can give up his plan to sleep in Amy's bed tonight to escape my terrible cold and pregnancy induced snoring.

So for all those people who think us bloggers portray an unrealistic picture of domestic harmony and creativity take note. The highlights are more than balanced by a litany of complaint, annoyance, frustration, suffering and boredom. And my ongoing unrequited lust for a great big plateful of som tam.


kt said...

Sending best wishes for a speedy recovery to that little sprout of yours. (Also sending lots of well-wishes for you and your hubby, as well.)

Ash said...

Oh, I feel sooooo sorry for you and Amy. I know exactly how you feel from bitter experience. Sebastian's ear problems mirrored what you've written about Amy's almost exactly.

He had his first hospitalisation at 9 months with mastoiditis following an ear infection. Then about four more hospitalisations, holidays where we noticed blood leaking from his ear as we boarded the plane.

Emergency surgeries, tonsillectomies (me and his dad in case we were cross infecting him), special titanium grommets, sinuses being washed out, etc.

He is 6 now and he has a permanent hole in his eardrum which is starting to close, but probably won't close completely. He will need more surgery to close it. But, strangely since we moved to the land of 'no antibiotics unless you have already been dead for 24 hours' (sorry, exaggerating there), he has been a lot better with the ear infections.

He has had pneumonia a few times since living in Holland, but the ears are ok. I think the last real infection he had *touch wood* was when he was about four.

He lisps, and he has about 40% hearing loss in the ear with the hole. He also needs an asthma pump when he does sport.

But, do you want the good news? Joe, my second baby, has had to have antibiotics once in his whole life! He is 4 now. I was so scared we'd have the hospital dance with him too and we didn't! What a relief :0

Hope you all feel better soon.

Suse said...

Oh dear lord. I am sending you blessings and warmest thoughts your way.

Fiona said...

Oh crap, I am so sorry to hear about Amy's ears. It is so awful seeing your child sick. And I'm sorry to hear that you have had to give up your night out together, too. I hope Amy's medication kicks in fast, and that you can at least have a restful, worry free weekend together. xo

nichola said...

Poor little Chicky. I hope it clears up soon.

Courtney said...

Take this for what it is worth because you know your child and I don't, but recurrent ear infections can be a huge indicator of cow's milk allergy. Best of luck to you and your family.

Liesl said...

Oooh, that sounds awful! I hope she heals quickly and with a minimum of discomfort.

bugheart said...

oh i soooo
with poor amy-
i had such
ear problems
when i was little!
get well
for amy
my heart
goes out
to you too!