Generally speaking I'm not the most restrained and polite of people. I swear, I voice my opinions, I'm loud. I believe honesty is best, even where honesty is hard and requires some working in. I let it all hang out. People come to my house and I expect them to serve themselves, ask for what they need and overlook the mess. And there's a lot of that here.
But there's a few things I'm learning as I get older. About the true nature of diversity and what tolerance really means. About human frailty. About our limitations and weaknesses. I don't always get things right, but I've realised the point is less about getting it right all the time than it is about not expecting others to either.
I've also learned that there are times to not say what you mean if you can't point to good reason for doing so, if you can't point to the benefit there probably isn't a need. There are still many many times when there is a need, and I'm happy to stand my ground for something that's worthwhile and risk offending others. When I think the debate is needed.
But when I read this and then this I wanted to join up. I really value that the blog world I visit is a place where I feel safe and encouraged and free to document my little life. I get endless joy from seeing people do their thing, and other people liking seeing them do it. I love that people share and that everyone seems so focused on the positive. I look forward to my unconflicted time here.
It distresses me enormously that bloggers I admire feel hurt by the things commenters feel compelled to say. That some people think their role in the blog world (and perhaps elsewhere) is to provide 'constructive criticsm' to those whose goal is simply to share their world. Like telling someone they need a facial (can that really be so? Why oh why would someone do that? What was going through their mind? I simply can't comprehend...)
I don't love every creation I see, I wouldn't make the same choices as many of the bloggers I read, I don't share the taste of a good many people out there. But unless I'm expressely asked for an opinion, who cares what I think?
I don't think we all need to strive to be the same, if we all agreed on the right shade or perfect fabric or best pattern how incredibly dull the world would be. And how hard for me to get the materials I wanted because everyone else was after them too. An enormous part of the attraction of the blog world is coming upon the unexpected, the I would never have thought of that moment.
So when I see things I'm not crazy about, I move on, lips shut. I know the rest of the world isn't like this, and there are times when you need to challenge and confront people for growth and development. But not here, not uninvited, and never ever anonymously. I don't care if it's a fools paradise. This is one little corner of the world I don't ever want to change.