Wednesday, 29 March 2006

Bye bye baby

Today we planted a beautiful crepe myrtle tree in our front garden to commemorate our lost baby. If you didn't read about this sad event you can find it here. Scroll down to entry titled A sad tale - sorry I can't link directly to it for some reason.

I was heartened by the response I got to this very difficult post - so many people share my experience (or rather their version of it since everyone has their own unique version to tell).

A number of people have emailed me to share their stories of loss and their questions about the silence surrounding miscarriage, including my neighbour. We had a good virtual laugh about living right next to each other but only being able to share such sad and intimate things via the computer. Isn't it weird? But I felt so much comfort from my virtual community and I am really grateful to those who responded.

In many ways I feel like I am over it at last. But I know that in other ways it will never go away. There is a little person who only exists in my mind who I will never get to hold, never see grow up. I will look out my window at the new tree and remember. There will be due dates that will come and go. There will be other people celebrating the births of their babies when I am not. There's a box of maternity clothes in storage I try not to see when I am searching for other things.

But as Dave said when we put the tree in the ground, here's to new beginnings.

6 comments:

Amy said...

It is nice that you are able to deal with this obviously difficult time by sharing with others. I am sure it will help someone else with this more-common-than-one-wants-to-admit event. A tree is a lovely remembrance.

Beverly said...

I appreciated your story so much. Silence is so dangerous; in my own life, it has caused problems that have left me so sad and regretful...I have to work at being willing to share my stories, both for my good and for others, and you're willingness to do so deserves great credit. Thanks.
xx

kath red said...

yay - much much better.
you should also try wordpress - free too.

pyglet said...

What a beautiful symbol to remember such a difficult time in a positive way.

bugheart said...

i am new to your blog but i just want to tell you i thought your story and your ability and desire to break the silence and talk about such a painful... horrible event in your life is incredibly heartbreaking and amazing all at once... thank you.

stephanie s said...

lovely post, here and the longer one on msn... that little one will live in the hearts and minds of all of us now, and everyone is better for that...

-s